


Remember Me

by sodakooh



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Feels, M/M, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2017-01-19
Packaged: 2018-07-22 16:15:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 22,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7445605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sodakooh/pseuds/sodakooh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sugawara Koushi.</p><p>His life was like one big rollercoaster;</p><p>Incline.<br/>Everything was amazing.<br/>Incline.<br/>The love of his life became his roommate.<br/>Incline.<br/>He still got to see his Kouhais grow.<br/>Incline.<br/>He went on dates with his boyfriend.</p><p>Then the drop happened.<br/>And everything shattered.<br/>Everything was ruined.<br/>Everything was gone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I | Graduation

**Author's Note:**

> Heya guys! This is my new fanfic :3
> 
> So, it's mainly in Suga's POV for reasons that shall not be mentioned *cOUgh*
> 
> Just be prepared for sin, feels, fluff, and other fangirl emotions.
> 
> Um, updates may be slow. I have no excuses for that. Its just sometimes I get lazy and don't feel like writing, but I'll try my best! ^u^

"Next up, we have Sawamura Daichi," The teacher said. I watched from the side as Daichi walked up in his navy blue graduation gown and taking his diploma. He shook the principal's hand, smiled at several cameras, then walked back down. Lots of clapping and cheers filled the hall, and I smiled.

"Next, Sugawara Kōshi."

I heard my name being called, and I walked up. My heart fluttered with nervousness, but I quickly glanced at the crowd, exactly where Daichi was seated. He smiled and winked at me, and I felt a bit calmer.

I took my diploma and picture, then walked to my seat next to Daichi, exhaling deeply.

"You looked perfect in the picture, as always." Daichi said, gently holding my hand.

I felt heat on my face. "Heh, you did, too."

Even after a year of Daichi's abrupt compliments and gentle touch, it still manages to make my heart skip a beat.

We both sat in silence as we watched our fellow graduates take their pictures. I occasionally took glances at the audience, looking for the rest of the volleyball team. I managed to see a spot of orange hair, and recognized Hinata; and wherever Hinata was, Kageyama was going to be nearby. Sure enough, Kageyama was sitting right next to him.

Hinata noticed me looking at him, and he smiled widely and waved frantically. Kageyama grabbed his hand and put it down, then mumbled something in his ear; probably saying that it was distracting. I giggled and made a small waving gesture back, trying not to draw too much attention.

"... Well, congratulations, class of 2016!"

Everyone stood up at once and threw their hats in the air, cheers and whoops resonating off the walls; however, I felt odd, as though there was a heavy weight on my chest.

Daichi turned to me and smiled, laughing. His face changed drastically after a second of looking at me. "Koushi? What's wrong? You're crying..."

I raised a hand to my face and felt a warm liquid on my cheeks.

"I... I-I am..." I muttered, smiling sadly. "I guess I just don't want to leave the team. I don't want to leave everyone." I took a sharp inhale. "I-I don't want to leave you, Daichi... We're going to different colleges, and yours is in another country! How am I supposed to handle things...?" I felt tears spill even more.

Daichi smiled and scratched his nose. "Well, maybe you won't have to..." He said.

"W-what...?"

Daichi looked me in the eyes. "I'm not going to America to study. I'm staying right here. Actually, really close to you, to be specific. I'm going to the same college as you. I kind of wanted to surprise you on the first day of school, but seeing you like this--"

I cut Daichi off by pulling him into a hug, crying, laughing, and smiling all at once. "T-Thank you, Daichi! I love you so much!"

Daichi wrapped his strong arms around me. "I love you too, Koushi."

 

"Suga-san! Daichi-san! Congratulations!" I heard Hinata and Kageyama simultaneously yell as they ran up to us. I laughed, still trying to wipe away the tears on my cheeks.

"Thank you, Hinata-kun, Kageyama-k--"

"Suga-san! Who got here first?! Was it me?! It was me, wasn't it?!" Hinata shouted.

"Of course not, dumbass! It was me, obviously! Right? Suga-san?!" Kageyama butted in.

"U-uh..." I stuttered. I didn't want to choose one in case it would start a fight. Instead, I ran over to Tanaka and Nishinoya.

"A-ah! Noya! Tanaka!" I laughed, an patted their backs. "You know, I'm counting on you guys to keep an eye on those two... Keep them out of trouble."

Nishinoya looked at me, and squinted his eyes. "You were crying, weren't you?"

I coughed. "What? PSH, no! O-of course not! What would m-make you think that?!"

"Because you're crying right now." Nishinoya sighed.

"Shoot..." I said, realizing that I failed to hide my emotions. I quickly wiped my eyes with my hands and sniffed.

"I'm sorry, I'm just kind of sad..." I realized that the rest of the volleyball team, including Daichi who had wrapped his arm around my shoulders, had gathered. "I'm going to miss everyone. I won't be here to mother all of you, and that kind of makes me sad." I laughed, and so did everyone else, except, of course, Tsukishima.

"But I'm glad I have Daichi with me. He's not going to America to study." I smiled at him, and he returned it. I looked at everyone, expecting a surprised look, but I didn't get any.

"We know. He told us." Asahi said, smiling.

I stared. "What? Really?"

Yamaguchi nodded. "Yeah. He told us about a month ago, when he found it that he was accepted into the school. It was Harvord, wasn't it?"

He hummed. "But I didn't want to leave Japan. You're too important to me, Koushi."

When he said those words, my face hated up again. Daichi placed a gentle peck on my cheek, and I blushed.

"Ahem..." Tanaka cleared his throat, "I don't mean to intrude, but don't you two have places to be? You should save all that stuff for when you're alone; preferably in a soundproof room, if you catch my drift~" He smirked, and I'm sure that both me and Daichi's faces reddened.

"Wait. I just have something to tell some of you." I said, then turned around, asking Daichi with my eyes to wait. He nodded.

"Okay; Hinata and Kageyama, it's obvious you two like each other, so stop pretending to fight all the time. Tanaka, good luck with Yachi-san. You two were meant to be."

"Koushi--"

"Yamaguchi, stop being so shy. Always try new things, okay?"

"Kōshi, we really--"

"Tsukishima, stop being so salty. Be nicer. Ennoshita, you'll be a great captain. Don't doubt yourself--"

"SUGA!" Daichi yelled, making me jump. I laughed nervously.

"S-Sorry, Daichi... But before we go, can we do the chant?" I asked, a small smile on my lips. Daichi nodded.

We walked into one big circled, and everyone placed their hands in the centre.

"Karasuno, FIGHT!"

"YEAH!"

Everybody laughed.

I didn't want to leave. Really, I didn't.

But I guess this experience through High School just made me realize something;

Nothing lasts forever.


	2. II | Treats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Koushi and Daichi decide to take the Karasuno volleyball team out for some good ol' ice cream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha I was so excited to write that I'm posting this early XD
> 
> I'm pretty surprised with myself.

"Thanks again for helping me pack, Daichi," I said, taking a quick glance next to me.

"No problem." He said, and lifted up a heavy box. I watched his muscles contract, and the sight made my face go red. I quickly hid it by turning the other way.

"So, uh, you're not moving closer to the college?" I asked, looking at the things on my dresser.

"No. I couldn't find any dorm rooms available." Daichi sighed.

"Well, maybe, y'know, you could, i-if you want," I stuttered, then took a deep breath in. "Maybe you could move in with me."

Daichi put down the box he was holding. "Really? Thanks, Koushi!" Daichi walked over and gave me a passionate kiss on the cheek. "Now I'll be able to make sure you aren't a cheater..." Daichi said with a smirk.

"Please. There's nobody in the world who could surpass the love I have for you." I said, and Daichi blushed. I laughed. "Hah, I still got it."

After we finished packing all of my things, Daichi and I decided to take a break.

"So, Koushi, where should we go?"

"Well, I heard there's a new ice cream shop that just opened up near Karasuno High School. It's a little too far to walk, though. Maybe we could go see how everyone's doing, and then take them out for a treat!" I suggested.

Daichi nodded. "That's sounds good."

 

When we got to the gym, Daichi and I peeked through the window to observe how the team was doing.

"Tanaka, go!" Kageyama yelled, setting the ball on the complete opposite side of where Tanaka was standing.

Instead, Hinata ran toward the net, and spiked the ball as hard as he could. Nishinoya wasn't able to save it, though.

Daichi laughed from behind me.

"That was pretty impressive, you guys." Daichi said, now revealing himself. I walked behind him, smiling.

"Yeah. Daichi's right--"

"Except for Nishinoya." Daichi interrupted, and I stared at him.

"What?! Why me?!" Nishinoya screeched.

Daichi laughed. "Kidding, kidding! It was great."

"Anyways, what are you guys doing here?" Kageyama asked, walking to the side and grabbing his water bottle.

"Well, Koushi had an idea to take you guys to that ice cream shop that just opened around here," Daichi said. I nodded.

"Yeah. I thought it would be a good treat for you guys, since you've been working so hard!"

Kageyama, Hinata, and Tanaka simultaneously ran up to us, yelling, "THERE'S AN ICE CREAM SHOP NEAR SCHOOL?!"

I laughed nervously. "Y-Yeah."

"Ennoshita, you'd let them go, right?" Daichi asked.

"What? Why are you asking me?"

Daichi laughed and placed a hand on Ennoshita's shoulder. "Well, because you're the new captain, remember?"

Ennoshita's eyes widened slightly, then he rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Oh yeah! R-right! I forgot."

I clapped my hands together. "Okay! Well, let's get a move on, then!"

Of course, Kageyama challenged Hinata to see who could get to the shop first. To avoid conflict, I told them it was a tie, even though Hinata tripped on his shoelaces, then Kageyama tripped on Hinata.

 

At the ice cream store, the cashier looked a little scared when he saw a group of 12 teenagers walk into his store. I smiled nervously, and got everybody to sit at a table.

"Okay. What do you guys want?"

Nishinoya sighed loudly. "Since I lost a bet, I'll have the chocolate-vanilla twist, since it..." Nishinoya coughed, "looks like my hair..."

The team snickered, including Tsukishima.

"I'll have the chocolate brownie sundae!" Hinata said enthusiastically.

"I'll have the dinosaur popsicle... [1]" Tsukishima muttered nonchalantly.

After getting everyone's orders, me and Daichi went up to the front. A young man, who seemed a little less frightened, looked at us with a small smile.

"Good afternoon! How may I help you?" he asked.

Daichi looked down at the two notepads with all the orders.

"Ah, yes, we'll have these here..." Daichi handed the notepads. Just then, he turned to me. "Koushi, what are you having?"

"Um, I guess I'll have the Oreo Flurry." I said after quickly glancing at the menu.

The cashier typed in all of the orders. "Okay, that'll be $40.89."

I noticed Daichi grabbing his wallet. I placed my hand on his, shaking my head.

"Don't worry about it, Daichi. I've got it." I winked. I took out my debit card and payed for everything. Meanwhile, Daichi went to the table and chatted with everyone. I smiled to myself, enjoying the sight of the whole team together.

I was a little sad that this may be the last time I see everyone together like that for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [1] Because of Tsukki's obsession with dinosaurs...
> 
> ...no?
> 
> ...m'kay, I'm just gonna go... :|
> 
> Anyways, thank you for reading! I'm probably going to post another update tomorrow because I may or may not have started planning out the story at a family gathering instead of socializing *cough*


	3. iii | Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Karasuno volleyball team enjoy their ice cream, then Koushi and Daichi make their way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a feeling this chapter is gonna be a little... let's just say, intense...
> 
> Anyways, enjoy your suffering-- *cough* I mean, enjoy the story!

The entire team laughed and talked about everything under the sun; from other sports some of the team was thinking about joining, to some new couples (Oikawa, Iwazumi, I'm looking at you).

"You know, I was actually thinking about joining a basketball team once!" Hinata explained. "I thought, maybe it would be cool to jump up and dunk the basketball into the net and be all 'Gwaaah!' while everybody cheered!"

Kageyama laughed. "Shoyou, you're too short to play basketball. Sure, in volleyball you manage with your jump, but in basketball, you need to stop the opponent coming directly towards you."

Hinata pouted, "Well that wasn't very nice... You could've at least said something like," Hinata took his hair and flattened it on his face [1], " 'Well, I'm glad you played volleyball, because we wouldn't have met otherwise,' or something like that!"

Kageyama placed a light kiss on his forehead, then exhaled. "Fine, fine. I'm glad you play volleyball. You're the best decoy, and boyfriend, I've ever had on my team."

I choked and spit out my water, accidentally spraying Daichi in the process.

"W-W-What?! H-how... when?!" I screeched, completely ignoring a drenched Daichi. I could hear Tanaka and Asahi panicking, and mumbling something like 'Shit! He looks pissed!' but they were ignored too.

"Suga-san, what are you on about?" Hinata asked.

"When did you and Kageyama get together?!"

"Oh, well we took your advice! One day after practice, we were walking home and, well, I told Kageyama how I felt! And, y'know, things happened and we became boyfriends." Hinata explained.

I smiled widely. "That's amazing, you two! I always had a feeling you were meant to be!"

Before I could say anything else, I felt a hand grip my shoulder. I jumped, and turned around.

Daichi was giving me a slightly annoyed look, water dripping off his face and onto his wet t-shirt.

"Oh my god! Daichi, I'm so sorry!" I panicked, realizing that I spit all over him. "I-I think I should have a sweater in my bag. I could give it to you if you want!"

Daichi wiped his face with the driest part of his t-shirt. "Nah, that's alright Koushi. I'll just change at home."

"Okay, I'll drive you! We did come together, anyways!" I smiled. Daichi nodded.

"Sugawara-san! Daichi-san!" Hinata called out. "We're all going to miss you a lot."

"Don't worry, we'll drop by every now and then to make sure Karasuno won't be known as 'The Flightless Crows' again." Daichi winked at Ennoshita, and he returned by giving a smile.

"Don't worry, Daichi-san. I'll keep them in good shape."

After saying our goodbyes, Daichi and I got into my car and I started driving and by the time we got to the highway, the sun had begun to set.

"It was fun to see the whole team, wasn't it?" I asked.

"Yeah. I didn't notice any first-years, though. Think there weren't any?"

I shook my head. "Nah," I turned my head towards Daichi to show him my raised eyebrow. "Besides, we've got the famous 1.62 cm tall spiker and the 'King of the Court' on our team. Why wouldn't people want to--"

Daichi's eyes widened. "KOUSHI! WATCH OUT!"

I looked back to the road, and saw a car heading straight towards us. I tried to steer away or break, but it was too late.

The car hit us head-on with full force. I felt the impact knock the wind out of me, the muffled sound of shattering and metal screeching filled my ears, followed by a ringing sound.

My view was hazy, but I noticed red was spattered on what was left of the window and on the inside of the car.

I slowly looked around me.

That's when I panicked.

"D-Daichi?" I mumbled.

He had a big gash on the side of his face, and lots of glass was pierced in his skin. I'm sure I had some, too, but I was more worried about him. His eyes were closed, and I noticed his shirt was stained with red, too.

I managed to muster up the strength to shake him. "D-Daichi, come on... Get up!" I said, louder. I panicked.

"No... no no no no!" I said, feeling tears drip onto my cheeks. "Daichi, this can't be hapening!"

I felt my eyelids droop slightly. I coughed, and when I looked down, some blood was splattered on my hand.

I heard sirens in the distance.

"Sir, don't worry. I called 911, and the ambulances are almost here. Just stay awake..!" a muffled, female voice called from outside.

'It's hard... Can I rest? Just for a little while?'

I felt my eyelids droop even more.

'So... tired'

I looked over to my side.

'Daichi... I'm sorry...'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [1]Like that scene where Hinata imitated Kags by quoting "I wish I could receice, toss, and spike, all by myself." X3
> 
>  
> 
> I guess you could say that...  
> Daichi is  
> ...  
> Deadchi  
> ...  
> :)


	4. iv | Why

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys! This chapter is kinda short!
> 
> It's just because if I keep it like this, it's kinda short, but if I write what I have planned, then it's gonna be really long ^^"
> 
> Almost as long as Daichi's--
> 
> K SORRY BYE

Everything was muffled. I couldn't see anything or feel anything.

'What... happened? Where am I?'

I tried to remember the events that happened.

'Okay... I moved into an appartment, and I went to Karasuno, then I took the team out for ice cream, all with... Daichi.'

Everything came back to me. I was driving home, and we crashed head-on in an accident.

Before I could think about anything else, I slowly heard muffled voices speaking. I could feel what was underneath me; something soft.

"Sugawara-san...please don't die..." I understood one of the muffled voices say.

"He's not going to die, you dumbass."

Curiosity took over, and I opened my eyes slowly. I regretted it, groaning and squinting at the brightness of the area around me.

"Sugawara-san! You're alright!" I heard a voice yell, and I winced at the loudness.

"Quiet, Shoyou!" I opened my eyes again and I saw Hinata and Kageyama, along with a few other team members. I gave the pair a small smile.

"H-Hey, you two..." I said, but my voice was broken. I tried turning my head, but I felt enormous pain. I winced and inhaled sharply.

"Suga, don't." Tanaka said. "You got hurt real bad in that accident."

I looked at the clock on the wall; 5:34. "How long have I been unconscious?" I asked.

Tanaka and Kageyama exchanged a look. "Uh, about 4 days."

I felt my eyes widen. "W-Woah..." I inhaled, surprised. "And what about Daichi?"

I could feel the room turn tense. Everybody exchanged a look. I became extremely worried, immediately thinking of the worst.

"He... he's not... dead, is he?" I asked, afraid to hear the answer.

Tanaka shook his head. "No, he's not."

I realized I had been holding my breath, so I let it out and smiled in relief. "Thank god...!" I looked over at the team, but they still had gloomy faces. "What's wrong...? Isn't the fact he's not dead a good thing?"

Hinata started speaking. "Suga-san, Daich-san's not dead, but he's not as physically injured as you are; a couple of neck and back injuries, and wounds from the glass, along with some bruises here and there and--"

Kageyama elbowed Hinata, mumbling, "Get to the point, Shoyou..."

"A-Anyways, Daichi-san's condition is a lot better, yet worse than yours... Of course, he's still got some physical injuries."

"Hinata... W-What do you mean? What's wrong with Daichi?" I asked, growing more and more nervous and impatient by the minute.

"Suga-san, Daichi-san woke up yesterday and people interrogated him. The problem was that each time someone asked a question about the accident, he didn't know what they were talking about. Then, when someone asked about the team, he never mentioned you." Hinata took a deep breath to calm down after realizing his voice began to waver.

"W-What are you saying, Hinata?" I mumbled.

Hinata was having trouble forming sentences, gripping the pockets on his shorts to steady his hands. I notice everything the team does. It's a mom thing, as Nishinoya says.

Kageyama placed his hand on Hinata's shoulder. "What he's saying is that Daichi-san has Amnesia. Lacunar amnesia, to be precise. Usually, Lacunar amnesia means that the person forgets a certain event or period... Daichi-san's case is, let's say, special. When Daichi-san got hurt, he forgot you. I'm so sorry, Suga-san."

I stared, wide eyed, mouth agape. "He... H-he forgot m-me?" I looked down at my hands, trembling. I clenched them so the shaking would hopefully go unnoticed.

Tanaka spoke up. "Guys, how 'bout we should give Suga-san some time?" He asked, but it was more like an order. Everyone nodded, and they left without another word.

As soon as I heard the door click shut, I don't know what happened to me. I bit my clenched fist so hard that I tasted blood. Tears streamed down my face, and I tried to stifle a sob.

'It's not possible... It's not possible! Daichi couldn't have forgotten me! Everything... Everything was perfect!'

'It's not fair!'

'Why him...?'

'Why me...?'

'Why us?!'


	5. v | Comfort

I sat alone in my room, staring at the blank, white wall that surrounded me.

During the past 2 weeks at the hospital, the team would stop by every once in a while. They even introduced me to the 1st years, Kataoka Hisoka and Miyahara Yuudai. They were probably the human version of Yin Yang; Kataoka was extremely reserved, while Miyahara was really friendly and talkative. 

I heard a knock at the door. "Come in!" I called.

A nurse walked in with a clipboard in her hand and a big smile on her face. "Good afternoon, Sugawara-san! I have great news for you!" she beamed.

"Really? What is it?" I asked.

"Well, according to your doctor, he says that you're well enough to leave!"

My eyes widened. "Wow, are you serious?"

The nurse nodded. "Yep!"

I smiled, almost as widely as her, but my mouth didn't extend as much. She's probably been practicing with other patients. "That's amazing!"

"How are you getting home, Sugawara-san? Is there someone you want to call?" the nurse asked. I nooded.

"Ah, yes. I'll tell you the number."

 

After putting on clean clothes, I heard another knock on the door. "Come in!" I called.

Asahi opened the door. "You're looking pretty good, Suga." he smiled.

I laughed. I noticed that he had his hair loose. "Hm, you're not too bad yourself. I like what you did with your hair."

"Ah, this is just the result of laziness, actually." We both laughed.

Asahi drove me back to my apartment. With his help, since not walking for 2 weeks can really take a toll on you, we walked up to my door.

"Wanna stay for some tea?" I offered.

"Sure. Thanks, Suga."

I unlocked the door, seeing my apartment the exact same way I left it. My bed was still unmade, and there were several empty boxes along the entrance.

I laughed nervously. "Sorry for the mess..."

Asahi waved his hand dismissively. "It's fine, Suga. It's not even bad!"

Asahi sat himself down at the couch and turned on the t.v.while I made the tea. I poured the hot water into the pot and seeped the bag of earl gray. I poured it into two cups, then went to sit down next to Asahi.

"Thanks." he said again.

I nodded, then turned to the t.v. I couldn't help but think about Daichi. He was still at the hospital, and I didn't have a clue about his condition.

"So, I talked to Daichi's doctor," Asahi started. "And he told me that Daichi might be able to leave in a couple of days."

I nearly choked on my tea, mainly because that's what I was just thinking about. "Seriously! That's great!"

"But you have to go visit him. He's got all his stuff here, so you'll still be sharing this apartment. Remember, he doesn't know who you are." Asahi added.

I felt the corners of my mouth tug down. "R-right. I'll go see him tomorrow." I said.

Asahi and I spoke for another 30 minutes, making random remarks and trying to keep the conversation happy and upbeat. It was especially hard for me.

Everything me and Daichi had done, all the feelings, all the moments, wiped from his mind. It hurts. It's like I don't exist for him anymore.

"Suga, I know what you're thinking." Asahi said. I guess I was quiet for too long.

I bit my bottom lip as hard as I could. "Oh really?" I muttered.

"Suga, you can't be so negative. You're thinking that everything you and Daichi did together is gone. It's not. The doctors said that there's a chance that Daichi could somehow regain his memories, so--"

"They said there was about 7.8% chance, Asahi! That's nothing!" I snapped. I looked down at my trembling hands, grasping the cup between my sweaty palms. "You...you don't understand! It's awful! I still feel all these emotions towards him, but he doesn't feel the same way!"

I took a deep breath to calm down. "A couple of days before I was dispatched from the hospital, I went to Daichi's room. I talked to him."

Asahi looked at me, slightly surprised. "What did you say?"

"I-I just told him that I was another patient from the hospital. I had to introduce myself again. But..." I shook my head. "B-but the way he looked at me... It was almost like it was... he was uncomfortable. We were always so close..." 

I sniffed, feeling warm tears flow down my cheek. "Asahi, what if things don't go back to the way they were? If Daichi doesn't regain his memories and I try to regain our relationship, and then it just doesn't work? I will've lost my soulmate, Asahi. I... I-I don't want that..." I cried even harder, taking my gray t-shirt and pulling it up over my face.

I didn't even hear him, but Asahi had gotten up and gave me a hug.

I broke.

I clung to him, trying to stifle sobs, but failing horribly. My tears wet his shirt, but he didn't seem to mind. He patted my head, trying to calm me down.

"Don't worry, Suga. If you two are soulmates, you will always find your way back together. I guarantee it." Asahi said after a couple of minutes of my sobbing with a reassuring smile. 

I nodded, wiping away the last of my tears. "Okay... Thank you, Asahi."

"No problem, Suga."


	6. vi | Home

When I woke up the next morning, I decided to spend most of the day relaxing at home.

It started with a warm cup of chamomile tea. I sat down on the couch and watched the news. There was something about a child missing in the area.

**"...this is the fourth person gone missing this month. Whoever is doing this will be apprehended soon, claims the police force."**

I sighed. "Wow, that's kinda scary. I hope they're all found soon." I muttered.

I grabbed the remote and switched through the channels, wanting to find something a little more upbeat. I didn't find anything. Instead, I found many ads about blenders or some tool to open cans that are stuck.

Giving up, I turned off the t.v. and went back to the kitchen. I washed the dishes from last night's dinner. I hummed softly to myself (I do this often, apparently), scrubbing in time with the beat of the song.

I finished quickly and got bored again, so I went around the house and cleaned up. It was hard, though, since I'm a rather neat person.

Then I got to Daichi's room. He, on the other hand, was _kind of_ , a _little_... okay, he was really messy. It never bothered me, though. I enjoyed cleaning, so I would listen to music and clean at the same time, or listen to some of Daichi's stories and laughter.

This time, however, was different. Daichi wasn't in the house. It was dead silent; no laughter, no stories. No deep, soothing voice resonating the walls.

I slapped my face. "Stop it. He's not dead!" I scolded myself. "You're going to see him today, anyways. Stop acting like this."

Instead of remaining in the eerie silence, I took out my phone and started listening to one of my playlists; Cleaning. It was mainly composed of Panic! At the Disco, My Chemical Romance and Twenty One Pilots.

I wake up fine and dandy but then by the time I find it handy, 

To rip my heart apart and start planning my crash landing, 

I go up, up, up, up, up to the ceiling 

And I feel my soul start leaving, like an old man's hair receding

 

I heard Ode to Sleep by Twenty One Pilots come on. I smiled, rapping all of the words. Me and Daichi would usually take turns singing and rapping the words, sometimes even using random items as microphones or props.

I continued to tidy up, dusting a few tables and re-organizing books. Before I know it, I've finished both cleaning up and listening to the songs on my phone. I walk to the kitchen and grab a glass of water, then check the time.

"1:24. I didn't realize that I cleaned for that long." I muttered to myself. I heard my phone vibrate.

>   
>  **From: Oikawa Tooru**
> 
> **Today, 1:25 p.m.**
> 
> **Helloo Suga-chan! I heard about Dai-chan. I'm sorry.**
> 
> **Wanna go get a coffee w me? My treat! >u  
>  **  
> 

I smiled at the text.

>   
>  **Hey Oikawa. That sounds like a good idea.**
> 
> **Just finished doing stuff and I was already bored XD.**  
> 

>   
>  **Yaay! I was hoping u said yes. I have smth I wanna tell u... ;)**  
> 

I sighed out loud, smiling.

>   
>  **Is it about Iwazumi?**  
> 

Oikawa didn't answer right away.

>   
>  **Why is it that every time I want to tell u** **smth, u think it's about Iwa-chan??! It's** **not nice! >:( **  
> 

>   
>  **So it's not about Iwazumi?**  
> 

>   
>  **...I never said that...**  
> 

****

> >   
>  **Ok. I'm leaving in 5 mins. I'll see u there.**  
> 
> 
>   
>  **Okay! Byee ^w^**

  
I grabbed my coat and keys, and went out the door. I smiled, happy to actually do something to get my mind off of things. 


	7. vii | Coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao I feel like I haven't updated in a while rip

I walked down the street filled with people. The cool afternoon wind blew in my face, and I shoved my hands in my pockets.

I heard high-pitched gigling, and saw two kids running in front of me; a boy and a girl. The girl, chasing the boy, had tripped on her feet. I watched as she fell onto her knees. My eyes widened, and so did the boy's in front of her.

I walked up to her, kneeling. She had tears in her eyes.

"Are you okay, little girl?" I asked. 

She shook her head and sniffed.

"Where does it hurt?" I then asked. I babysat little cousins, so I was kind of good with this kind of thing. Apparently, even in the volleyball team, I was know as the "mom" and Daichi was the "dad", whatever that means.

The little girl pointed to her knee. There was a light scrape on it.

I smiled, then leaned over. "Now, don't tell anybody this, but I'm actually an angel with healing powers. I can make the pain go away." 

The little girl gaped. "R-Really?"

I nodded. "Yeah! I just need you to sit down with your legs out, okay? I promise it won't hurt."

The girl sat down and extended her legs like I said. I bent down and placed my hands over her knees without touching them. I hovered them and moved them in circular motions.

"I call upon my magic powers. Make this beautiful, young lady's pain disappear!" I chanted with my eyes closed. 

I heard the girl giggle. Cracking one eye open, I whispered to her.

"Now I need you to blow on it. Can you do that for me?"

The girl nodded. I moved my hands and formed a diamond shape with my fingers. The girl blew and smiled.

I opened my eyes. "Does it feel better?" I asked with a smile. She nodded and giggled.

"Thank you, Angel-san!" she said. The little boy who was with her helped her get up.

"Hiroko-chan, we should get going before onii-san gets upset." he said. The girl nodded.

They turned around and started walking away, but the little girl turned back towards me, then ran up and hugged me. At first, I was surprised by the sudden action, but I smiled and hugged her back, although she only reached my waist.

"My name's Yui Hiroko, by the way." she smiled. "And he's my best friend, Naoki Kyo!"

I laughed. "It's very nice to meet you, Yui-chan, Naoki-kun. My name's Sugawara Koushi."

Yui and Naoki walked away, waving. I smiled, then checked the time.

"Shoot, I'm late!" I cursed, then jogged to the cafe.

When I got in, I spotted Oikawa sitting at a booth. He was looking out a window, then at his phone, then back out the window again.

"Oikawa! I'm so sorry!" I sighed, plopping myself down in front of him.

"What happened? You're late. It's not like you, Suga-chan."

"There was this little girl and boy, and the girl got hurt. I helped her out just by saying that I was an angel with magic powers." I laughed. "Good news is that it worked."

Oikawa laughed. "You're such a mom, Suga-chan~"

"Yeah, yeah."

Just then, a waiter came and took our orders. I had a cappuccino and a chocolate chip muffin.

"Anyways, what did you want to tell me?" I asked, taking a sip of my coffee when it came.

"Oh, well, you know how me and Iwa-chan moved in together?"

"Yeah."

"Well, um, two weeks ago, we finally, um... _did it_." Oikawa said, his face turning red. I nearly choked on my coffee.

"Really?! Oh my god, congratulations!" I smiled.

Oikawa chuckled. "Thanks. Anyways, Iwa-chan's been babysitting his little cousin for the week. She's been staying at our place, and it's been really nice. A-anyways, I've been thinking about it, and I think I want to adopt a child."

I widened my eyes. "L-Like, _now?_ I mean, don't you want to be with him for at least a year before you adopt?"

"No, no! I don't mean now! I was just, y'know, thinking... and eventually, I want to mention it to him." Oikawa explained.

"Ah, okay." I nodded. "I think you'd be great parents." I smiled.

"So," Oikawa started, "How are you holding up? Has Dai-chan come home yet?"

I shook my head. "No. He's still at the hospital. I was actually going to visit him today. "

"Oh." Oikawa said. "I haven't had the chance to visit him yet. How's he doing?"

"He's... good. He's recovering well, actually; walking, able to sit up on his own."

"That's great! Does he know about your history together?" Oikawa asked.

"Um, I introduced myself, but he has no clue that we actually went out. The doctors wanted to tell him. I told them that I would do it, but..."

"But...?"

"But I'm worried. What if he's different now? And what if he doesn't even like me anymore? It's either going to be that I live in suffering, knowing that the man I live with doesn't love--hell, even _like_ me or I kick Daichi out of the house, and have him probably living on the streets somewhere. I... I can't do it."

Oikawa sighed loudly. "You were always overly-paranoid, Suga-chan. Don't worry. Daichi will still love you. Didn't you talk to him before leaving the hospital? He was friendly to you, wasn't he?"

I nodded, looking down. Me and Oikawa made chit chat until around 4:00.

I looked down at my phone. "Oh crap, it's already 4:00! I've got to get going. There's always traffic at 5:00, and I have a feeling I'll be stuck in it."

Oikawa laughed. "Alright. Tell Dai-chan I say hi~!" he smiled.

I nodded. "Bye!"

I walked back to my apartment building, directly to my parked, black Volkswagen. I turned on the car and started driving. Of course, I listened to the radio, trying to hear where the main traffic jams were. 

Just as I turned onto a highway, I saw a swarm of red lights as far as the eye could see, with the occasional honking.

_"You may want to avoid the highway 36 east. There's some pretty bad accidents on the right lane."_ I heard the radio host say.

I groaned loudly and lightly slammed my hand onto the steering wheel. "Of course, you couldn't mention this earlier!"

_Whatever,_ I thought. _I'll just listen to some music to calm down._

I went to turn up the volume on my iPhone, but instead, I heard dead silence.

_What?_

I checked my phone. Dead.

"This is fan- _fucking_ -tastic. Is the entire universe against me?" I cursed.

"And all I want to do is see Daichi..." I sighed, feeling a pang of sadness in my chest.


	8. viii | Visit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i haven't updated in such a long time rip
> 
> i'm sORRY

It took me about an hour and a half to get through the traffic and pull into the visitor's parking lot of the hospital, where as the normal amount of time was just fifteen minutes. The trip was awful, especially since I was stuck behind someone blasting horrible music.

I sighed as I put the car on park, reluctantly unbuckling my seatbelt and stepping out of the car. I didn't know what I was going to say to Daichi;

_"Hey. I'm Sugawara Koushi. You don't remember but we used to be friends. We've played volleyball together for three years. You also moved in with me."_

or

 

_"Hi. I'm Sugawara Koushi and you've been thrusting your shaft inside of me for a year and a half now, and damn you're pretty good at it. We became parents to a group of volleyball-loving crows somehow. We decided that we should live together so it would take less travel time to get to the banging."_

I just didn't know.

Walking into the hospital, I smiled at the lady at the front desk. She had her hair pinned in a bun and there were light bags under her eyes. She looked up at me.

"Ah! Sugawara-san! Welcome back!" she smiled. How she smiled while it was obvious she was tired, I had no clue. These people must have to love their job.

"Hello again, Harada-sensei. I'm here to see Dai-- uh," I stuttered, "Sawamura Daichi."

The nurse looked down at her sheets, flipping them over. "Ah, yes. He's in room 246. Please sign your name and the time you got here." she smiled once more.

"Ah, yes. Thank you, sensei." I said, bowing then quickly scribbling my name and the time onto a piece of paper.

As soon as I started walking, my heart beat sped up. I was still afraid of Daichi hating me, which was totally possible. Okay, I know I seem to be overreacting but I can't help it. I always overanalyze situations. It's probably something I used in volleyball practice too.

I stopped at a door. _246._ I felt as though I was going to be sick from running a marathon after you've eaten too many tacos.

_Okay. You can do it. You can do it. You can do it!_

I put my right hand on the door and knocked three times. As soon as I did, I regretted it.

_Crap I can't do it I can't do it I can't do it I can't do it I can't--_

"Come in!" A voice called from inside. I inhaled, my right hand turning the cool doorknob.

Daichi looked at me, smiling. "Ah! Sugawara-san! Welcome back!"

I smiled at him. He seemed a lot better; his face was less pale and his voice seemed more upbeat. "Hey Da-- uh, Sawamura. How've you been?" I asked, trying my best not to scream. I still don't exactly know why I wanted to scream-- Nerves, longing, awkwardness, fear that he realized I almost called him Daichi.

"I've been good, actually. I feel great, too. Can't wait to leave." He chuckled and I felt butterflies in my stomach, just like the very first time I heard his beautiful laugh.

I nodded. "That's good. That's good." I said, then mentally face palmed. _You said "that's good" twice ugh he's going to think you're some kind of dummy that doesn't realize he stuttered oh my god this is the end for my relationship with the best man in the world rest in peac--_

"So what have you done when you got out of here?" Daichi asked.

_Oh well I cried to Asahi about my fear of loosing you--_

"Uh, well, I met up with a friend. He's really nice." I said, smiling nervously.

_Okay. You have to tell him now. Just start speaking._

"U-uh, Sawamura, I have something I need to tell you." I started, and it felt like my stomach was doing backflips.

Daichi sat up straighter. "Yeah? What is it?"

I stared at him for a couple of seconds, unsure of how and where to start. "Uh, h-has your doctor or your parents told you where you'll be staying after you're released?" I asked.

Daichi sighed. "No. Nobody's told me anything."

"O-Okay... Um, well," I stuttered, and honestly, I just wanted to die right there and then. "Well, y-you're staying with m-me." I said, and smiled nervously.

Daichi stared at me. "W-with you?"

_Crap crap crap crap crap crap he thinks you're weird oh no this is the end he's going to hate you for always and eternity and you will end up like one of those crazy cat ladies crap crap crAP--_

"Yeah." I said, looking at the floor. "O-Okay, I know this may--okay, not may, but will, sound weird, but we know each other. I'd like to say really well, even."

_WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT HE KNOWS YOUR SENSITIVE SPOTS AND YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES HIM HARD? GOOD JOB KOUSHI YOU'RE MESSING EVERYTHING UP--_

"R-Really? I don't remember you." Daichi had a confused and scared expression on his face that made me panic slightly.

"Da-- uh, Sawamura, this is going to take a lot of explaining, so I'll just tell you a little bit and then I'll explain the rest later." I said. Complete lie. I didn't want to stay and explain because I could already feel my nerves getting to me; my hands were tightly gripping at the hem of my sweater.

"Oh, okay." He nodded. "Um, Sugawara-san, are you okay?" Daichi asked me.

"H-huh?"

Daichi pointed to my hands. "Your hands are shaking."

Never mind me wanting to die before. _This_ is awful.

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry! I had a cup of coffee with my friend before and I don't usually drink coffee, so I'm all hyper and stuff." I laughed. "Don't worry about it."

Daichi looked at me. "Okay, if you say so. So, where can you start?"

I sighed. "I guess I'll just start with how we got into the accident." I walked closer to Daichi and sat on a chair next to his bed. He looked at me, eyes full of curiosity.

"Well, we had just moved in together in our apartment, and so I said that we should pay the volleyball team a visit. I offered to take them out to ice cream and stuff, so we took my car and I drove to Karasuno High School."

Daichi nodded along to my words, but I could tell he was confused.

"Anyways, when we got there, it was really fun. The cashier looked like he'd wet himself when he saw a group of teenagers walk into his shop." I laughed, and so did Daichi. "Anyways, we ordered ice cream for the entire team, and then we went to sit down."

Daichi seemed to be even more confused at this point.

"I had just found out that Hinata and Kageyama were dating, so I accidentally sprayed my water all over your shirt." I giggled. "Since you were all wet, we decided to go back home. On the way back, we hit a truck head-on. I'm sorry. It's my fault for getting you so hurt..." I muttered, looking down at the ground painfully.

Just then, I felt a warm hand on mine. Daichi had a sad smile on his face.

"I doubt its your fault, Sugawara-san. Don't look so sad. Besides, I'm fine now, right?"

_Yeah, except for the part where you lost your memory._

"Y-Yeah, I guess so." I mumbled, and Daichi removed his hand. The warmth was gone, and I wanted it back so badly. If I could've, I would've jumped into the bed and snuggled with Daichi for the rest of my life.

"Oh, I have good news, actually!" Daichi said, his face brightening. "The doctors are telling me I can leave tomorrow! They say that the speed that I'm recovering at is almost strange." Daichi chuckled.

I smiled widely, laughing in delight. "That's amazing, Sawamura! I can't wait!"

"So, uh, do you think I could get your number so I can call you tomorrow?" Daichi asked, and handed me a piece of paper and a pen. I gave him a look saying _'seriously, Daichi?'_

He chuckled, scratching the back of his head. "Trust me, I'd like to add you in my contacts but I don't have my cellphone with me."

_Oh, I'm already in your contacts, because we were daTING--_

"Oh no. Where do you think it is?"

"Um, I'm not sure." He clicked his tongue.

"Anyways, I'm sure you'll find it." I said, smiling. I wrote my number on the piece of paper. "Anyhow, if you need anything, don't hesitate to call me, okay?" I asked, handing him the paper.

Daichi looked at it. "Yeah, sure thing."

I nodded. "Good! So, I think I'll be heading off." I said, starting to back away.

"Oh. O-Okay. This may be too early, but I won't see you until tomorrow, so, goodnight, Sugawara-san." Daichi smiled.

Before I left, I turned back around. "Hey, uh, call me Suga." I smiled.

Daichi smiled wider. "Alright. You can call me **[1]** Sawa, if you'd like."

I felt my heart race. "O-Okay. Goodnight, Sawa."

"Goodnight, Suga."

I turned back around and left. As soon as I made sure the door was closed, I leaned against it and slowly slid down, until I felt the ground underneath me.

I bit my lip, half because I was trying not to smile like an idiot, half because I was trying to hold back my tears.

"He doesn't hate me..." I whispered to myself. Clenching my fists, I squeezed my eyes shut, the tears seeping through. _"He doesn't hate me!"_ I whispered again, joy rushing through me.

I heard footsteps, so I quickly stood up and wiped my face. A nurse looked at me and smiled, so I smiled back. As soon as she was out of sight, I exhaled. _That was close,_ I thought to myself.

I walked out of the hospital and got into my car. I immediately grabbed my phone and dialled Asahi's number.

_Riiiiiiing_

_Riiiiiiing_

_Riiiiiiing_

_Riiiiii--_

_"H-Hello?"_ Asahi answered. He seemed to be out of breath. Normally, my reaction to that, being the 'mom' I am, would be to ask why he was out of breath, but there was too much excitement rushing through me.

I couldn't hold in my excitement. "ASAHI, DAICHI DOESN'T HATE ME!" I screamed into the phone, my smile completely resolute.

_"J-Jeez, Suga. A little louder next time."_ Asahi groaned. As I was about to say something, another voice was on the line.

_"Suga-san, that's amazing! See, Asahi? I told you Dad wouldn't hate Mom!"_

_"Yuu, I never said he wouldn't."_

I laughed. "Nishinoya? I didn't know you were with Asahi." I said. "What were you two doing?"

Nobody answered. I regretted asking.

_"U-Uh, well, we--"_ Asahi stuttered.

"A-Actually, never mind! Anyways, I, uh, I've got to go. Can't talk and drive!" I laughed nervously.

_Wait... they know you have bluetooth on your phone that connects to the car! Koushi you idiot!_

_"Alright. Well, I'll call you later."_

Just as I was about to hang up, I decided to fluster the giant.

A big grin appeared on my face. "Oh, and Asahi!"

_"Yeah?"_

"Make sure he can barely say his name." I smirked, and I could just imagine the look on Asahi's face.

_"Asahi? What's wrong? What did Suga-san say?"_ Nishinoya asked in the background.

_"N-NOTHING, YUU! NOTHING AT ALL!"_

I laughed even harder. "Bye, Asahi~!" I said in a singsongy voice, then hung up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [1] I decided to have Suga call him Sawa because its' going to kind of represent their levels of trust;
> 
> Sugawara-san/Sawamura = Strangers (even tho Suga knew Daichi)
> 
> Suga/Sawa = Friends (?)
> 
> Koushi/Daichi = Banging ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> Anyways, this is probably one of the longest chapters I've written on this story lmao
> 
> Also I may add other main ships to this story
> 
> So far there's:
> 
> -KageHina
> 
> -IwaOi
> 
> -AsaNoya
> 
> I'm probably going to try and add some KuroKen and BokuAka because they'rE LI F E
> 
> SO YEAH
> 
> BYE


	9. ix | Flashback

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aight so i haven't updated this thing in such a long time, but i have it all written out!!
> 
> cause i already posted the finished product on my wattpad but i'm just gonna spend today spamming you guys with updates
> 
> hope that's coolio
> 
> by the way, i was thinking, would anyone be up for a collab fanfic? if so, pm me and we can talk about what to write about. just write "hey! I was wondering if we could do a collab together?" or somethin idfk

 

I got back to my apartment, heart still racing with excitement. I wanted everything to be perfect for when Daichi got home. 

I threw my keys into the bowl on a small table near the entrance, not bothering to check if it made it in. Me and Daichi used to try to do that one day when we got bored. Let's just say that the area of the wall above the bowl hates Daichi's keys.

Rushing to the kitchen, I grabbed a yellow sponge and cleaned the dirty dishes, scrubbing them until they were sparkling. I dried them, then put them away. Satisfied with my work, I proceeded to cleaning and re-organizing the rest of the kitchen; sorting the glasses by style, swapping the dishes for the cups, making sure that all the forks were with the forks, that sort of thing.

Seeing as I was probably going to go on another one of my massive cleaning sprees, I went to plug in my iPhone and connected it to my portable bluetooth speaker. I quickly looked up a playlist on youtube, then clicked the first one I saw. I didn't even think of seeing what songs were on it.

 

_**She's got cherry lips, angel eyes** _

_**She knows exactly how to tantalize** _

_**She's out to get you danger by design** _

_**Cold-blooded vixen. She don't compromise** _

 

I stopped what I was doing to listen to the song as a small smile made its way to my lips.

 

_**She's something mystical in colored lights** _

_**So far from typical but take my advice** _

_**Before you play with fire do think twice** _

_**And if you get burned don't be surprised** _

 

I turned around and grabbed a cloth and some Windex, unintentionally humming the part of the song that was playing. Realizing that I was humming, I smiled once more. I sprayed the mirror in time with the music.

 

_**Got me lifted, drifted higher than the ceiling** _

_**And ooh, baby, it's the ultimate feeling** _

 

By this point, I was singing the lyrics, swaying my hips to it. I started smiling like an idiot, but honestly, I didn't care. 

 

**_You've got me lifted, feeling so gifted_ **

 

I used the Windex bottle as a microphone, dancing and singing.

 

**_Sugar, how you get so fly?_ **

 

I danced to the music, now abandoning the mirror-washing. I laughed, still singing and dancing along like a drunk man at a karaoke bar.

During the rest of the song, I listened, my heart racing like a student with a schoolgirl crush. Daichi confessed his love for me with this song in the funniest way-- at least, to me it was.

We were at my house listening to music while studying for the upcoming exam; science. I hated it. I sucked at it. I wished science was just an optional course. Sadly, it wasn't, and I had to pass.

Daichi noticed me staring at the science notes intensely. "Suga, if you continue that, you'll burn a hole into the paper."

I looked up, groaning. "Daichi, I don't get it!"

He sighed, chuckling lightly. "What don't you get?" he asked me.

"Um..." I looked at the page I was on, scanning it for things I didn't understand. "This?" I finally answered, pointing at the title on the cover of my notebook. In cursive was written **'Science Notes'**

Daichi chuckled. "Really?" He raised an eyebrow. "Y'know, I don't understand how you pass with honours in every other subject, but when it comes to science, you just... you know..."

"Suck?" I said, although my voice was muffled due to the fact that I was 'intensely smelling the table', as I liked to say.

"W-Well, I wouldn't say _that,_ exactly." he smiled. 

Daichi scooted closer to me, and I didn't realize until I heard a soft voice speaking. "Here, let me see your notes."

I tensed slightly. With every word Daichi said, I felt his breath tickle my neck. I got up and reddened a bit at how close he was. 

"We already reviewed this chapter," He said, flipping through the pages, "so I think we should just review this one here, okay?" Daichi stopped flipping and looked at me.

"Y-Yeah, that's fine." I said, looking at him. I examined all of Daichi's unique features; from the slightest sign of laugh lines to the hint of green in his beautiful irises. He was beautiful, and I couldn't stop myself from staring.

"Suga, are you okay?" Daichi asked, noticing me staring at him intensely.

 _Crap!_ "Yeah, no, I'm great! Peachy!" I squeaked, then mentally face palmed. _You sound like an idiot._

Daichi moved away and I already felt colder without his near presence. His facial expression changed, and I suddenly got a worried. 

"Suga, I have to tell you something." Daichi said, looking down at the ground.

"Yeah? What is it?" I asked, trying to sound calm, but my mind was trying to think if which words could possibly come out of his mouth.

Daichi looked at me. "Uh, well, you see..." Daichi stuttered, then grabbed his phone. "W-Wel, uh, here, let me find something..." he mumbled under his breath, and grabbed his phone. I looked at him, confused.

After a few minutes of searching, Daichi played Sugar by Robin Schulz. At first, I didn't understand what he meant. "Uh...?" 

"Suga, you hear the lyrics, right?" Daichi asked.

"Uh, yeah, kinda..." I said. I kind of lied. Instead of paying attention to the song, I was watching Daichi and his flushed face. Adorable.

"It says, _got me liftin' driftin' higher than the ceiling , and ooh baby it's the untimate feeling. Got me liftin', feelin' so gifted. Sugar, how you get so fly~?"_

Just then, I smiled. My smile turned to a light laugh, and I felt my heart racing. "D-Daichi, are you _confessing?_ "

Daichi's eyes widened drastically, and he started stuttering. "W-Wha -- Y-You know, uh, I-I'm kind o-of -- actually, y-you see, I, uh. . ."

After stuttering and stammering for what seemed like forever, Daichi looked away, face completely flustered. "Y-Yeah, I am. Suga, I've had a massive crush on you ever since I met you. You're so caring and funny and I know it's weird for a guy to like another guy but I just can't hold  it in anymore and I--"

I moved my right hand onto Daichi's cheek, gently turning his face towards mine. I closed my eyes and pressed my lips to his, tasting the hint of brownie that we had earlier. The kiss was short and sweet, just enough to send Daichi a message.

"Daichi," I started, looking into his eyes, "Guys liking other guys isn't weird. I've liked you for such a long time, too, but I always thought you were into Michimiya-san. . . I guess I was wrong, huh?" I chuckled, feeling my cheeks grow slightly warmer.

Daichi pulled me into an abrupt hug, squeezing me tighter than usual.

"Thank god. . ." he mumbled, his voice slightly muffled due to my shirt. "I was so worried you'd hate me, and that you'd leave. . ."

I hugged him back, my face buried in the crook of his neck. "Don't worry, Daichi. I'd never hate you." I smiled. "I love you, Daichi."

"I love you, too, Suga." Daichi said back, and I pulled away.

I looked into his eyes, smiling. "Call me Koushi."

"Koushi. . ." Daichi whispered. Hearing him call me by my first name made the butterflies in my stomach go wild.

"I love you too, Koushi."


	10. x | Retrieved

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeet boi

Daichi and I were on the couch, snuggling underneath a fuzzy blanket, watching our favourite movie. I leaned against his chest and I felt his warm hand underneath my shirt, gently drawing little circles around my waist. 

I smiled to myself. I loved being with Daichi. Sometimes, I didn't need to constantly receive kisses or anything of the sort. Just knowing he was near me, hearing his breath, feeling his warmth was enough. 

Well, I'm not saying that I _don't_ like to be showered with kisses because Daichi is a damn good kisser, if I do say so myself.

I got off of his chest and looked up at Daichi. "I love you," I whispered, a smile on my face

Daichi looked at me, and a shiver ran up my spine. _He didn't say it back._

Daichi stood up and walked towards the door, not bothering to look back at me. 

I panicked. "D-Daichi!" I called out, quickly getting up and grabbing his wrist. He still didn't turn around. "W-What's wrong. . ?" I whispered, a million thoughts running through my mind.

I heard a light cough coming from him.

"Daichi. . ?" I walked in front of him, and my teary eyes went wide.

There were shards of glass in parts of his face and his white t-shirt was turning red. Cut lip, blood dripping down his temple. 

Daichi looked at me, his eyes hazy. "Su. . . ga. . ." he muttered, then collapsed onto the floor, his body hitting it with a loud thud.

Tears flowed down my cheeks. I kneeled down next to him, grabbing him in my arms. 

Daichi looked up at me. "Y-You. . . could have. . . s-saved m-me. . ." he coughed up blood. "W-why. . . didn't y-you. . ?"

Daichi went limp, and I felt like a rock had been dropped in my stomach.

"Daichi?! Daichi, answer me!" I screamed, shaking him, but there was no response.

_This can't be happening. . ._

_Please. . ._

**_"DAICHI!"_ **

I sat straight up, face wet with my tears. The sun wasn't up yet; it was probably 1:00 or 2:00 am. 

I grabbed my knees and pushed them to my chest. 

 _It was a nightmare. . ._ _Daichi is okay,_ I told myself.

_Then, why am I still crying. . ?_

I tried holding in my sobs, but after a while, I gave in, trembling and shaking uncontrollably.

_It felt so real. . ._

I bit my bottom lip. I thought Daichi coming home would make me have nice dreams; cuddling, sweet kisses. Oh, how wrong I was.

I want Daichi. I want him to hold me like he used to. I want him to wrap his arms around me and run his fingers through my hair and whisper _"it's okay, Koushi. . . you're okay."_ and make me feel safe and secure. 

I shifted position, now curled up in a ball, lying on my left side, facing the window. I stayed like that, unable to fall back asleep for the rest of the night. Before I knew it, the sun was up and the _extremely_ annoying crows were cawing. (Seriously, Karasuno High School. Why did you choose to be the bird with the most annoying call?)

I groaned, rubbing my eyes. I turned over and grabbed my phone.

 _6:38. So that makes about 3 hours of sleep?_ I groaned out loud, followed by a long sigh. 

I figured that sighing wouldn't help, so I got out of bed and made myself a cup of coffee; half milk and a bit of sugar. 

I sat on the couch and turned on the t.v., watching the news. A shiver went up my spine as I read the headlines: "24 Year Old Male Kidnapped" 

 _". . .Detectives are saying that they believe there are multiple people doing the kidnappings. Who exactly are doing it, they still don't know. . ."_ the news reporter said, and I turned off the t.v.

"T-That's enough of that." I muttered to myself. I started reading a book until I heard a noise.

_Riiiiiing!_

_Riiiiiing!_

I heard my phone ring from the other room. I put down my cup and speed-walked to it.

"Hello?" I answered., sitting down on the bed.

 _"Hey, Suga."_ I heard the voice say. I immediately recognized it. 

"Sawa! Good morning! How are you?" I asked. I felt butterflies in my stomach when I heard him speak.

 _"I'm good. Kind of antsy, actually."_ he chuckled. _"how about you?"_

I sighed. "I'm okay. I didn't get much sleep last night, not sure why." I said. _Lie._

 _"Oh no. Maybe you should try to take a nap later."_ Daichi suggested.

"Yeah, maybe. I was never really good with naps, though. I always end up in that awkward half-sleep where you're sort of asleep but you can still hear everything around you. . . Has that ever happened to you?"

 _"Oh, yeah, definitely! I'm a deep sleeper, but sometimes that happens to me, too."_ I heard Daichi chuckle. _"A-Anyways, the reason I called is because , y'know, the doctor won't let me drive for another week or so, so he asked me " **Is there someone you could call to drive you home?** " and I said " **yeah, I have his number** " and so, well, I dialled your number. . . So what I'm asking is, uh, . ."_

I laughed. "You're asking me if I could pick you up from the hospital?" 

_"Yeah. . ."_

I laughed once again. "Sawa, you don't have to be all nervous to ask me something as simple as that. Of course I'd pick you up. Besides, we live together!" I smiled, even though I knew Daichi couldn't see it. Hopefully he'd hear it in my voice.

I heard a sigh come from Daichi. _"That's a relief. I don't know why but I thought it'd be weird or something."_

"No, not at all. What time should I be there?" I asked.

_"I think I'm being released at 12:00 ish. Can you come for that time?"_

I nodded, then realized he couldn't see me. "Y-yeah, totally! that's fine!"

 _"Great! Thanks a lot!"_ Daichi said.

"No problem. Well, I'll see you soon."

 _"Okay. Later, Suga."_ Daichi said, and hung up.

I smiled widely and bit my lower lip. I fell backwards onto the bed face-up and held my cellphone near my chest. It felt so good to have a normal conversation with Daichi again.

"Okay! I have to look good for when Daichi sees me!" I said, pumped up. I sat up and walked to my closet. "W-well, I can't look _too_ good, or else it's gonna seem like I put too much effort into it. . ."

I stared intensely at my closet, trying to decide what to wear. I pulled out a bunch of clothes, matching them and swapping them in an attempt at find a good-but-not-too-good outfit. 

Finally, after about 10 minutes of searching, I gave up and just pulled out a heather grey pullover and beige jeans. I took a shower, washing my hair and body, then got dressed. My towel was still hanging around my neck as I finished, so I went to check what time it was.

I groaned at I read. 9 _:26. I feel like it's been so long. . ._ I thought. _If time flies when you're having fun, then time must be falling from the sky, dead._

I decided to watch some t.v. in the meantime. I switched through the channels until I came across a show called "Supernatural".

 _Hm, this show is okay, I guess,_ I thought to myself. _Nothing too dramatic._

I spoke too soon.

All of a sudden, the main character, Dean, got shot in the chest. Even though I didn't watch the show for very long, seeing the way Sam reacted, and held him in his arms made me tear up as well. 

After drying up my tears, becoming confused since Dean kept coming to life and screaming at the t.v. because of the trickster, I realize dhow much I enjoyed this show. I looked up the show on Netflix and watched the first few episodes.

"I didn't realize how I could become so obsessed with something in such a short amount of time. . ." I said, sighing slightly.

I looked back at my computer screen, and happened to notice the time. "Oh my god it's almost 11:45! I've got to go!" I shouted, quickly shutting the computer screen and grabbing my phone and keys. 

I ran out the house and started driving towards the hospital. It was only at a red light when I realized what I was doing. 

_Shoot. I didn't even think anything through! What do we do first?  Go home? Daichi probably wants to take a shower or something. Or maybe we go to Karasuno, or maybe a coffee shop? No, no, that's going to seem like a date. . ._

I groaned out loud. "I don't know what to do. . ." I decided to stop over-thinking and just focus on driving without getting into another accident. 

 

* * *

 

I pulled into the parking spot. "Okay, don't be nervous. It's fine." I told myself. I got out of the car and walked inside. The same nurse was at the front, but she didn't have any circles under her eyes. _Must've had a break._

"Harada-sensei, good afternoon." I smiled at her. 

"Sugawara-san! Hello!" she said, and I noticed it was much more enthusiastic than last time. "I'm guessing you're here for Sawamura Daichi-san?" she asked. I nodded.

"Yes. It's his last day. I'm here to pick him up." I smiled.

"Alright, please sign your name." she said. I signed my name, as she said. "thank you, Sugawara-san! Have a good day!" Harada-sensei said and bowed.

"You, too, sensei." I said, and bowed back.

I walked to the same room as last time; 246. As I approached the door, I heard two voices inside Daichi's room.

". . . I'd say, about 6-7 days before you can operate heavy machinery, and the same amount of time for driving." said a male voice.

"Okay." I heard another voice say, and I recognized it as Daichi's. 

I knocked on the door and heard the talking come to a halt. The doorknob turned and a man in a blue scrub outfit stared me down.

"Who might you be?" he asked, and I felt a strange vibe about him.

"A-Ah, I'm Sugawara Koushi. I'm here to pick up Sawamura Daichi. . ." I stuttered. As soon as I said that, his tone of voice changed. 

"Oooh, so it's _you_ who Sawa-kun was speaking about so highly!" he said, a massive grin on his face. I looked at him, slightly confused. Before I could ask anything, Daichi cut in.

"Suga! Hey! You made it!" Daichi said, smiling.

"Yep! I was actually almost late because of this show I found. Based off the whopping 3 episodes I've watched on Neftflix, it's pretty good so far." I chuckled.

"Well, we'll have to watch it when we get home, then!" Daichi chuckled, and I felt my heart race slightly.

"Of course."

"Alright, Sawa-kun, Suga-san, how 'bout you kids skidaddle and Netflix and Chill at home~" the doctor said, gently nudging us out of the room.

"M-Minaki-sensei!" Daichi spurted, and I'm almost 100% sure his face went slightly pink.

"Kidding, kidding! Anyways, Sawa-kun, just remember what I told you."

Daichi turned around to look at him. "No driving, no operating heavy machinery, no alcohol. I'll remember, don't worry."

"And the other thing~" Minaki-sensei smirked, and Daichi nodded, a little flustered. 

"Y-Yeah, don't worry."

I bowed to the doctor. "Thank you for taking care of Sawa. Have a good day, sensei."

"You, too, Suga-san! Bye-bye!" he smiled, and turned around to walk away.

Me and Daichi walked out of the hospital. "That doctor seems to really like you." I smirked.

"I know. Honestly, I don't even remember when he started calling me ' _Sawa-kun'._  "

I laughed. "Y'know, before I mentioned my name, I honestly thought he was going to kill me. He had this really scary look on his face. . . but as soon as I said my name, he was like a completely different person!"

Daichi laughed. "I noticed that, too! I was debating whether I should hold him back or to tell him your name for you."

Daichi smiled, and I did back. "Anyways, let's go home."

"Yeah, you've got to show me this _'pretty-good'_ show that almost made you late."

I smiled. "Yeah!"

Daichi and I got in the car and started pulling out of the parking spot.

_We're going home together._

_I feel like things won't be so bad after all._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	11. xi | Confession-ish

 

Daichi and I drove back home, occasionally commenting on random things; whether it be something one of us saw on the road or something the radio host said. After, however, when we got close to home, Daichi's facial expression changed from a normal one to a slightly pained one.

I heard his breath hitch and he let out a slight groan. "Sawa? You okay?" I asked, glancing towards him. Daichi had his right hand on his forehead, eyebrows pinched together.

"Y-Yeah. . . My head just kind of hurts." he said back.

"We should have some advil at home. Can you wait until then?"

Daichi nodded. "Yeah, I think. It's another 5 minutes, right?"

"Mhm. How do you know that?" I asked. If he remembered the apartment, it might trigger him to remember something about me.

"I-I'm not sure. . . This route kind of looks familiar, though. I just can't place where I kn-- _A-agh!"_ Daichi let out a sudden groan once more. I started to worry.

"Okay, just hang in there. I'll give you something at home." I said, concerned. 

I pressed my foot down on the gas. I couldn't stand seeing Daichi in pain, even if it _was_ just a headache. 

_But why is it so sudden. . ?_

I ignored my thought and continued to drive home.

 

* * *

 

"Okay, we're here." I said, opening the car door. I heard Daichi do the same.

He looked at the building before saying, "This looks kind of familiar. . ."

I tensed up. "O-oh, really?" _Oh my god does he remember? Please say yes please say yes please say yes please sa--_

"Mm, but I don't know why."

"Oh." _God fucking damn it._

I led Daichi up the stairs. I unlocked the front door and swung it open, revealing our place. I tossed my keys into the bowl and smirked.

I turned around to face Daichi. "Well, welcome home, Sawa." I smiled, and he smiled back.

"Thanks. It's really nice here." He said. Daichi took off his shoes and walked in. 

I walked to the washroom and grabbed the small bottle of Tylenol. I walked back to the kitchen and filled up a glass of filtered water.

"Here you go. For your headache." I said, putting the Tylenol and the glass on the counter. Daichi picked it up.

"Thanks." he said, and popped open the bottle. As he started to grab a pill, I explained the areas of the apartment.

"Um, your room is just down here,  and the washroom is down the hall. My room is across from yours." I explained, making quick gestures. "Obviously, the living room is here, and the kitchen is over here. . . Oh! I just realized we haven't eaten! What do you feel like having?" I asked. "Not to brag or anything, but I'm a pretty good cook." I smirked.

Daichi chuckled. "Hm. . . Surprise me, _chef."_

"Alright~" I smiled. I went up to the sink and washed my hands. 

"Hey, I'm just going to take a quick shower, okay?" Daichi told me. I nodded, and accidentally let a yawn escape my mouth.

After washing my hands, I turned to the cupboards and grabbed a jar of tomato sauce and olive oil. I then turned to the fridge and grabbed some raw ground beef.

I poured some olive oil into a big pot and added the raw beef, chopped up carrots, onions and a bit of garlic. I let that simmer and started humming Whistle by Katy Tiz unintentionally.

After, I added the tomato sauce in the jar and some water. I closed the lid and let that cook.

Just as I finished, I heard the shower turn off. _Ah, he's done._ I thought to myself. I walked towards the couch, yawning.

I grabbed my laptop and started browsing through Netflix. Reading the description of the next Supernatural episode, I yawned once again. _I guess I didn't get much sleep last night. . ._  I thought to myself. 

"Mm, something smells really good!" I heard a voice say, and I turned around to see Daichi in a pair of black shorts and a loose white t-shirt. He had a towel hanging around his neck, stoping any drops of water from his wet hair to wet his t-shirt.

As I looked at him, I felt slight heat in my face. Daichi looked pretty attractive. I tried to hide my blush with my hand by scratching my nose. "Hah, you think so? I'm making some fettuccine and a salad on the side. The sauce is cooking right now. It shouldn't be too long."

Daichi smiled. "Sounds good. So," Daichi walked over to the couch and sat down next to me, "what was this amazing show you wanted me to watch?" he asked. 

I pointed to my laptop. "This. It's called Supernatural. Here, I'll set it up to the tv and we can start watching it. Read the summary." I said as I turned on the tv and set up Netflix on our xbox. 

"It seems pretty good." Daichi said once he finished reading. I already had the first episode ready to be played. 

"I know right?" I smiled. "Here, I'll start the episode. I've already watched this one and I have to go stir the sauce." 

"Okay."

I walked back into the kitchen to stir the sauce. I went into the cupboard and grabbed a bag of fettuccine, then turned on the stove to boil some water. Once the bubbles started to rise to the surface, I put the pasta in. While it cooked, I took out some salad and chopped it up in a bowl. I added salt, olive oil and some balsamic vinegar, remembering that it was Daichi's favourite.

I stirred the pasta, then tasted it, making sure it wasn't too hard. I strained the excess water, then poured some sauce into the pasta pot with a spoon. 

"Sawa, it's ready. Can you help me set the table?" I asked. Daichi had already been getting the placemat. 

"Already on it." he smiled. I went to get two plates from the kitchen cabinet. I had to go on my tippy toes; it's not something I'm proud of but whatever. 

I dished out the fettuccine and put some salad on the side. Walking to the table, I put one plate in front of Daichi and one in my seat. There were already forks and glasses on the table. I went to grab the pitcher of water on the counter and placed it on the table.

"It looks delicious, Suga." Daichi said. I smiled widely. I missed being able to cook for Daichi.

"Well, dig in." I said back. 

Both me and Daichi put our hands together. "Thank you for the food!" We said simultaneously.  

"You know, I haven't made Italian food in a while." I said as I twirled the fettuccine around my fork. 

"Really? I thought you made it often because it tastes so good! It's like you're a pro!" 

"Please, I'm no pro. . ." I blushed. "My mom taught me how to cook most of the things I know. I think my love for cooking and baking stemmed from her." I smiled, looking down at my plate. 

"Oh, really? I didn't know you baked."

"Yeah, I'd like to say I'm known in the Karasuno team for bringing my peanut butter-chocolate chip cookies." I said with a smile and as soon as I did, I froze.

_Oh shit. Did I already tell him that I was part of the team? I can't remember! Oh god he looks confused oh my god this is awful!_

"Oh, yeah, you mentioned you were in the volleyball team at the hospital." Daichi said.

_Oh thank god! I already mentioned it!_

"What position did you play?" he asked.

"Oh, well I was a setter for two years, but then we had a genius first-year setter, so he replaced me. . ."

"Hm. . . Genius setter? Is it a boy named Kageyama Tobio?" Daichi asked.

I nodded my head. "Yeah."

Daichi looked down at his plate. "Hm, interesting. . . You're the same age as me, and you said that you played for 2 years as the official setter, and the third year you were on the sidelines. Doesn't that mean that I should know you? I was the captain for Karasuno volleyball team." Daichi said.

 _Yeah you should know me because I was the vice-captain for fuck's sake--_  "Yeah. But it's like I told you. We got into an accident and you lost your memories."

Daichi stared at me, and it looked like he was thinking. "W-Wait. . . I-I lost my me-memory. . ?"he asked.

_Good job Koushi you've really fucked it up now!_

"U-Uh. . ." I stuttered. I didn't know how to answer.

_brain.exe has stopped working._

"Yeah. . . I-I guess I should tell you the truth. . ." I said. "Look, Sawa, we've been friends since the beginning of junior high school. Although we didn't go to the same one, we often talked on our way home. We've been best friends, and in the Karasuno team, I was actually the vice-captain. A couple months ago we--"

I stopped speaking. I was about to say how we confessed our love for each other.

But I didn't.

"A-A couple months ago, we, uh, graduated, and we're going to the same college so we're living together." I looked down at my plate. "This is going to sound really selfish, but it's so hard for me. It's hard for me to look at my best friend and see that when he looks back at me, he doesn't recognize me. It's hard for me to acknowledge that all of our memories created together has just disappeared. I wish there was something I could do to get you to remember, but there's barely a chance. . ." I felt my hands start to shake on the table, and I bit my lower lip.

_I'm so selfish. I'm putting all this negativity and guilt on Daichi. He hates me--_

"Suga, I'm sorry." Daichi apologized. "I. . . I want to remember. I want to remember you, and everything that we've done together." he smiled. I'm guessing that Daichi realized my hands were shaking, so he reached across the table and grabbed them. "I promise that I'll do everything in my power to try and remember. But even if I _don't_ end up remembering anything, it's fine! We'll just have to create new memories." 

I smiled at him and my vision blur from the tears that started forming. I sniffed. "I'm such a crybaby, I swear. . ." I laughed, and when I blinked, the salty liquid ran down my cheek.

"Gosh, Suga. . ." Daichi got up and grabbed the Kleenex box, then offered it to me. 

"T-Thanks Sawa. I'm serious. For everything you said. I've actually been panicking quite a bit lately." I laughed.

"Really?" 

"Y-yeah. . . It's kind of embarrassing, honestly. I thought you'd hate me for some reason."

Daichi laughed. "Well, you don't have to worry about that. I don't hate you, Suga."

I smiled at Daichi. "Thank you, Sawa."

He smiled back. "Okay, well, let's continue eating! Wouldn't want this delicious meal to go to waste!" 

"Yeah. Definitely."

I was so happy that me and Daichi were at least friends again, however, a part of me was screaming and cursing that I didn't tell him we were dating for almost 6 months. I had a feeling that I would regret it later. . .

 


	12. xii | Daichi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quick warning: this chapter is in Daichi's POV so that we could finally see what he's thinking of this whole experience.

 

| **Daichi's POV** |

 _Why do I feel guilty? I don't understand. . ._ I thought to myself. After hearing what Suga told me, I felt bad. It was that feeling of a weight on my chest, or I swallowed a boulder and I just now felt it drop into my stomach.

_But it's not my fault. . . right? I mean, how am I supposed to know what'll make me remember? I just. . . hate seeing Suga like this; all torn up._

I sighed out loud before picking up the last bite of fettuccine on my plate and eating it. I looked over at Suga and he was already done, now taking a drink of water. 

"Suga, the food was delicious." I smiled. 

"Hah, thank you!" He said, and stood up to try and take my plate from in front of me. 

"Nuh, uh! You already cooked, so I'll wash the dishes, alright? Go sit down on the couch." 

Suga looked at me, then smiled. "Okay. Thank you."

I nodded my head, then grabbed both our plates. I turned on the faucet, and when I made sure that Suga wasn't looking at me anymore, I took the time to admire his features.

_He's so adorable. . . but if Suga is saying the truth, I can't acknowledge that I might like my best friend! That would ruin our friendship!_

I heard a rather loud yawn coming from the couch, and I chuckled. "You okay there, Suga?"

"Hm? Oh, yeah, I--I'm fine. A little tired, I guess."

I continued to scrub the dishes, then put them to dry.

"Alright, I'm done." I smiled, then sat down next to Suga on the couch. He had been on his phone; Instagram, I think. 

"Okay," Suga locked his phone. "Should we watch some Supernatural?"

"Sure." I stood up and pressed play on the remote, which was on the table.

After a good half hour of watching, I _just happened_ to look over at Suga. Now, remember, this was _pure coincidence._ I'm not a pervert who knew this would happen, okay?

Anyways, when I looked, I noticed that Suga was having a hard time keeping his eyes open. Occasionally, his head would nod, and I smirked.

 _He must've been really tired,_ I thought. I turned back to the t.v. and continued to watch. Thank god that Netflix automatically played the next episode so I wouldn't have to move. Bless whoever created Netflix.

Just as the next episode played, I felt weight on my arm. _Huh?_

I blushed madly when I saw Suga, who had accidentally fallen asleep and leaned on my arm. He had the most adorable sleeping face. It was perfectly relaxed and his lips were slightly parted.

_Oh my god he's so cute I think I may die from this--_

I mentally slapped myself.

 _Stop thinking like that! He's your_ friend, _not to mention he's a_ guy,  _for god's sake! This is weird!_

I sighed out loud. Suga seemed in a pretty deep sleep, so I didn't wake him up. He continued to sleep on my arm as I watched a couple other episodes of "Supernatural".

 

* * *

 

I yawned, making sure to use the opposite arm to cover my mouth. Suga had shifted in his sleep so he had clung to my arm. Netflix had done that thing where it stops playing an episode and asks, "Continue Watching?", but I took that as Netflix saying, "Alright, that's enough Supernatural for one night. Go to bed." 

I looked over at my side. _Hng, I really don't want to do this. . ._ I thought. With my other hand, I gently shook Suga's shoulder.

"Suga? Wake up. . ." I half whispered. Suga didn't react.

_Sheesh, he's really asleep. . ._

"Suga." I said, a little louder. Still no answer. "Fine, I guess I'll just have to do it myself."

I peeled Suga's hands off my arm and stood up. Suga fell onto his side, and I smirked, shaking my head. "How much sleep did you actually get, Suga?" 

I looked at Suga, trying to see how I could pick him up the way he was lying. I slipped my arm underneath his back and under his knees, picking him up bridal style. I didn't really see any other option. Suga was really light, so it wasn't that hard.

"Mm. . ." I heard a muffled noise come from Suga, and he wrapped his arms around my neck. I felt my face heat up. _Oh, great!_ I thought sarcastically. _This makes_ everything _easier!_

I sighed but continued to walk to his room. _Uh, I think it's this one. . ._ I guessed, turning right. I guessed right, since I saw a picture frame with a beautiful woman with smokey hair hugging a mini Suga. I smiled. He was adorable.

"Alright. . ." I groaned as I gently placed Suga down on the bed. He turn over onto his side, and I sighed. I noticed that Suga was still wearing his day clothes, which didn't seem too comfortable to sleep in.

 _Nope. **Nope.** No way. There is a fine line to what best friends to for each other and what lovers do for each other and I am _not _stepping over it!_ I cringed at what I thought of doing.

 _Okay, I'm just going to wake him up and tell him to get changed._ I decided.

"Suga, hey, wake up." I said, louder than last time. I shook his shoulder, and I heard a mumbled groan. Suga turned over and looked at me with half-closed eyes. 

"Hm. . . Sawa. . ?" he said with a groggy voice. "Why am I. . . in my b-bed?" he asked. Suga sat up and rubbed his left eye with his hand, a slight pout on his face. I don't think he realized he had that look, though.

_Holy fuck he's adorable--_

_STOP THAT!_

I nodded. "Y-Yeah, I brought you to bed." I said. I decided to leave out the _details;_ extreme clinginess, my weird "best friend or lover" thoughts.

"O-Oh, thank you."

"No problem. Anyways, I woke you up because those clothes don't seem very comfortable to sleep in. Trust me, I would've let you sleep." I smiled.

"Thanks."

"Uh, just out of curiosity, just how many hours of sleep did you get last night?" I asked.

Suga looked away. ". . .ee. . ." he mumbled.

"What?"

"Three. Three hours of sleep." Suga said clearer. My eyes widened.

"Oh my god. Why?"

Suga crossed his legs, looking at his feet. "N-Nightmare. . . really real one, though." 

"I'm sorry. Uh, if ever you need anything during the night, come wake me up, okay?" I suggested.

"O-Okay. Thank you." 

"No problem." I smiled. "Well, goodnight Suga." 

"Night, Daichi." 

I walked out of Suga's room, closing the door behind me. I walked into my room and immediately face-planted onto my bed. I felt an unwavering grin spread on my face, and I didn't care if I looked insane. It felt good to grin like that. 

_Bzzz-bzzz!_

What? What was that?

I turned over and sat up I saw a faint light coming from my nightstand on the other side of the bed. I crawled over to the source. 

 _My phone?_ I smiled. I actually forgot that I lost it. I unlocked my phone and saw I got a text.

 

_From: Asahi (Scaredy Cat)_

Today, 9:37 pm.

 

**Hey Daichi. Heard you got out of the**

**hospital. That's great news!**

 

I laughed to myself at the contact name for Asahi. I forgot I had put that.

 

**Hi Asahi. Yeah, I'm really glad I'm out.**

**How've you been?**

 

**Good, although earlier today I**

**scared one of the neighbours' kids.**

**She ran off, screaming "there's a killer!"**

**It's a great ego booster -_-**

 

**Lol that sounds awful. You did**

**always look pretty terrifying with**

**your long hair.**

 

**Yeah...it's not fair though. I'm not**

**mean! Anyways, I just wanted to text you**

**say hey. Have a good night.**

 

**Okay thx. Night**

 

I locked my phone and put it back onto the nightstand. As I turned onto my back, my mind began to wander. Before I realized it, I had been thinking about Suga. His laughter, his smile, those beautiful eyes of his--

_Aw, crap! Daichi, stop it. No. You can't keep thinking about him like that!_

I groaned and flipped over, my face on my pillow.

_Well, let's hope tomorrow is a little better._

With that last thought, I went to sleep, Suga still on my mind.

 

* * *

 

**_"BANG"_ **

"Oh for god's sake!" 

Silence.

**_"CRASH"_ **

"Are you kidding me?" 

_What the hell?_

I groaned as I sat up, scratching the top of my head. I wondered what the sound-- _make that sounds--_ were. I opened my door and walked to the kitchen, where Suga was standing, fists clenched. I looked around and saw shattered glass and a pan on the floor.

"Uh. . . Suga?" I asked. He looked at me, and gasped.

"Oh, gosh, I'm sorry Sawa! I-I was going to make breakfast--pancakes--but I dropped the pan and when I went to pick it up and place it back on the counter, I knocked over the glass bowl and now everything's ruined and I--"

"Suga, it's fine. Don't worry. I'll get the broom." I smiled, trying my best to calm the panicking Suga down.

I walked to the closet and grabbed the broom. "Why were you up so early anyways?" I asked.

"Well, I'm an early bird. I like to get up early and just relax, I guess. Today I thought it'd be a good idea to make pancakes for breakfast, but, all _this_ happened. . ."  Suga gestured to the mess around him.

I started sweeping around, and I noticed that Suga was barefooted. "S-Suga, you don't have slippers. . !" I said. Panic rushed through me. 

_What if he got glass in his foot? I don't know how to remove it! I can't drive to the hospital because of my accident._

"I'm usually barefooted when I'm in the house, actually." Suga said. I don't think he understood what I meant by pointing out he didn't have slippers.

"N-No, I mean, you're going to get glass in your feet!"

Suga looked down, then back at me. "Oh shoot. . ." he cursed. 

"U-Uh, here. Jump across." I said. I held out my hands to help him.

_Wait. . . whY AM I DOING THIS? I could just sweep around his feet!_

_. . . oh well._

Suga looked at me unsurely, but grabbed my hands.

"One. . . two. . . three!" I counted, and when I reached three, I pulled while Suga jumped. He made it over the danger area, but ended up stumbling when his feet hit the ground. 

"W-Woah!" he shouted. I fell backwards and accidentally pulled Suga down with me. We both landed with a loud **_bam!_** Suga had fallen on my chest. 

I groaned. Suga hoisted himself up, and we made eye-contact. I'm still not sure why, exactly, but we both started laughing. 

"Well, at least you aren't hurt." I said. Suga started getting up, and nodded.

"Yeah. Thanks, Sawa." 

After cleaning  up, Suga made us some pancakes. I suggested adding some chocolate chips, then some strawberries. In the end, we had chocolate chip pancakes with strawberries and whipped cream.

 

* * *

 

~~**(A.N. Look I'm really lazy so the conversation on the phone won't have much description. Fight me.)** ~~

Suga and I sat at the table. He was drawing something on his tablet; he would tell me what, exactly. Just that I would like it.

Suga's phone started ringing. 

"Hello?" he answered.

"Kuroo! Hey! How are you?"

_Kuroo? Wonder why he's calling._

"I'm great, thanks."

_Suga's smile is really wide and adorable. . ._

"Ha, not surprised. Didn't you have one last week, too?"

_Wait. . . have what?!_

"Really? Both of us? Will the others be there again?"

 _No. . . I'm just imagining things. . . Kuroo wouldn't do. . ._ that _sort of thing. . !_

"Alright. We'll be there!"

_NO WE WON'T I'M NOT OKAY WITH STUFF LIKE THAT SUGA WHY WOULD YOU SAY YES--_

"Okay, later!"

I looked at Suga, trying my best to calm down. "W-What did Kuroo want?" I asked.

"Oh, he invited us to a party at his house." I felt myself relax.

"Good -- I, uh, I mean, that's cool. When?" 

"Today. 4:00." Suga said.

I hummed in response. "Sounds good."

 _I guess I have something to look forward to,_ I thought. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got really lazy at the end of this chapter oops
> 
> Anyways, get ready for a drunk Suga
> 
> What a bad mother. Tsk Tsk.
> 
> Okay, that's it.
> 
> bYE


	13. xiii | Drink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another quick warning: this chapters back to Suga's POV, and all other will be, too, unless stated otherwise.
> 
> okay thanks
> 
> now go and read this shitty content
> 
> you fukin weeb
> 
> ;)

 

"Hey, Suga, what are you wearing?" I heard Daichi ask.

"I'm just wearing something casual. A t-shirt and jeans." I answered from the washroom.

 _I feel like I should warn Daichi. . . he's never been to one of Kuroo's parties. . ._ I thought to myself.

"Hey, Sawa?" I called.

"Yeah?"

"I, uh, should probably warn you about Kuroo's parties. There's usually a lot of, uh, drinking and jokes. Sometimes even some pranks." I laughed, remembering a prank we pulled on Bokuto, who had passed out. Bad idea. Kuroo had bandages all over.

"Woah. Sounds fun. Too bad I can't drink." he chuckled.

Daichi and I continued to get ready. After another 20 minutes, I waited by the front door.

"Okay, let's go." Daichi said. We both slipped on our shoes and left.

 

* * *

 

I was thankful that Kuroo and I didn't live very far from each other, because as I drove, it started getting dark and cloudy.

I pulled into an empty spot near Kuroo's house. It wasn't anything fancy; two-stories, two bedrooms with one bathroom upstairs and another downstairs. There was also an "office" where Kuroo did his "homework" and "studies", so he claims, yet everybody knows he often stares blankly at his paper.

"You ready?" I asked Daichi. Why, I'm not sure. Maybe because I was worried that Kuroo would scare him away.

"Yeah. Besides, it can't be that bad!"

 _That's what Asahi said last time. . . the poor soul._ I thought.

We walked to the front door, and I rang the doorbell.

"Someone answer it!" a voice shouted from behind the door.

"I can't! I'm fixing the machine!" said a second.

 _What machine. . ?_ I wondered.

"Kuroo, you answer it! It's your house!" said the first voice again.

"But Kenma's showing me a game!"

I sighed, and rang the doorbell three more times, knowing that it would bug them.

"KUROO JUST GET YOUR ASS MOVING!" the first voice yelled.

"SHUT UP YOU OWL!" Kuroo yelled back. I laughed, and so did Daichi.

After a couple of seconds, the door opened.

"What was that game Kenma was showing you?" I smirked, crossing my arms in front of me.

Kuroo laughed nervously. "Oh, you heard."

"Yeah, and I'm pretty sure the neighbours heard, too." Daichi added. We all laughed.

"Come in. Make yourselves comfortable. We've got drinks in the kitchen, and Iwaizumi is setting up the karaoke machine."

I waved at everyone. "Hey!" I smiled.

Kozume sat on the couch, his phone in his hand. Iwaizumi was crouched in front of a box with his phone hooked up to it, and Oikawa was behind him, saying something like "Your ass is grass and I'm gonna mow it," which earned him a shove.

"Where's Bokuto?" I asked. Kuroo gestured to the kitchen.

"Trying to show off his non-existent bartending skills." Kuroo sighed.

Daichi had made his way next to Iwaizumi. I overheard him saying "I used to have one of these," and started helping him.

I smiled, then started walking to the kitchen. I noticed that both Bokuto and Akaashi were there.

"Oh, hey Akaashi, Bokut--"

"AKAASHI WHY IS IT BUBBLING AND FIZZING?!" Bokuto screeched. Akaashi was panicking just as much as him.

"I-I don't know! Bokuto-san, what the hell did you put in here?!"

"I DON'T KNOW, THERE WERE LIKE 5 BOTTLES ON THE TABLE AND I JUST THOUGHT THEY'D LOOK GOOD TOGETHER--I-I DON'T KNOW! AKAASHI WE'RE GOING TO BLOW UP THE HOUSE!"

Kuroo shouted from the living room, "What the hell is going on over there?! You better not make a mess!"

"KUROO I'M SORRY IF I ACCIDENTALLY CREATED A BOMB WITH ALCOHOL."

"What the fuck?!" Kuroo cursed. Over the sound of Bokuto panicking, I heard him cursing again while he got up and walked over.

I started laughing. "Uh, you know, you can just do _this. . ."_ I said. I took the glass and put it in the sink, then turned on the tap, letting the water dilute the drink. The bubbles stopped and eventually it was just water.

"SUGAWARA! YOU SAVED US! YOU--YOU SHOULD BE LIKE A HERO OR SOMETHING, OR GET LIKE THOSE KEYS TO THE CITY!" Bokuto shouted.

 _Keys to the city. . . what is he talking about?_ "Uh, it was just logic, but thanks, I guess. . ." I laughed.

"Jesus Christ, Bokuto. You aren't a bartender. You're gonna end up killing someone with one of your drinks." I heard Kuroo say from behind me. After a long sigh, he added, "Anyways, Sawamura and Iwaizumi just finished setting up the karaoke machine."

"Nice!" Bokuto smiled. He grabbed Akaashi's hand and pulled him towards the living room, saying "You're still singing with me, right Akaashi?"

Akaashi sighed. "Sadly, yeah."

I laughed, then started following, but I felt something hold me back.

"Suga, hold on a second." Kuroo stopped me.

"Hm? What's wrong?"

"What's up with you and Sawamura?" he asked. "I know you two got into an accident, but he's not upset at you or anything, right. . ? You guys seem. . . _different."_

I shook my head. "Oh, you didn't hear the entire thing. Daichi has amnesia, and he, uh, he completely forgot me. It was a pain, though. I had to re-introduce myself and explain everything--er, _almost everything."_

Kuroo raised an eyebrow. "Almost everything? What does that mean?"

I sighed. "It means that he doesn't know we were dating. He thinks we're just best friends."

Kuroo tsked. "And here I am, thinking you were smart. . ." he said, which earned him a light punch. "Suga, why didn't you tell him?"

I looked away. I had never really thought about why I didn't tell him, and I couldn't come up with an answer. "I-I don't know. . ." I stuttered, and Kuroo gave me a look. "I-I'm serious! I never really thought about it. I don't know why I didn't say it!"

Kuroo sighed. "Fine. But you're going to tell him eventually, right?"

"Y-yeah. . ." I said, and I cringed. I didn't sound very convincing.

"Well, whatever. It's your love life. Just know that everyone here is rooting for you." Kuroo patted my shoulder, then walked away.

_Hnng thanks Kuroo for making me even more confused and stressed out about what I should do god damn it--_

I sighed, then followed Kuroo into the living room. Oikawa was on his knees in front of Iwaizumi, and it if weren't for him speaking, I would've thought a completely different situation had been happening.

"Please, Iwa-chan? You can choose the song!" Oikawa begged.

"No. I can't sing." he said, crossing his arms.

"Yes you can! I've heard you in the shower!" Oikawa suddenly realized what he said.

". . . you listen to me take showers, Shittykawa?!"

"N-no, uh, I, uh, I just really love your voice! T-that's all! I promise! Please sing with me!"

Daichi started laughing. "Oh, come on, Iwaizumi. It's all in good fun." he smiled.

Iwaizumi let out a long sigh. "Fine! Fine, I'll do it!" he threw his hands up in the air.

"Yay! Thank you!"

After a long series of debating what song to choose _(Oikawa: The Reckless and the Brave by_ _All Time Low._ _Iwaizumi: no. Oikawa: Yes. Iwaizumi: No),_ they decided to sing "A Love Like War" by All Time Low

Iwaizumi and Oikawa took turns singing, and Iwaizumi would sometimes pretend he was playing the drums while Oikawa sang. It was pretty entertaining.

While they sang, Kuroo went into the kitchen to grab some beers. He passed them out, then placed the extras in the middle. I opened my can and sipped it.

After their song was done, Kuroo and Bokuto sang "Love is an Open Door" together since Akaashi and Kozume didn't want to do it with them. Everyone laughed as they acted out the words by opening random cupboards and doors.

More drinks were passed out.

Before I even realized it, I was giggling over everything. I had a strange urge to just twirl around and sing, but at the same time, I was feeling a little bit dizzy. That's when I realized I was drunk.

_Awh, man! I have to drive! Oh well!_

I giggled again.

"Yo, Sugawara, what're you giggling about?" Kuroo asked from across the couch.

"Nothin'. Nothin' at all." I laughed again. I have no idea why this was so funny.

"Anyways, I have a game!" Kuroo smirked devilishly, and a couple of groans were heard.

Daichi looked at me, confused. "What are Iwaizumi and Akaashi groaning about?" he asked.

"I think it's 'cause last time, it was a drinking game Bokuto drank until he puked 'nd Oikawa was too drunk to even remember his name, which was _hilarious!_ Poor Iwaizumi and Akaashi had to take care of them after." I said, then laughed.

Daichi eyed me. "Oh. Y'know, you seem a little drunk, too. You okay?" he asked me. I waved my hand in front of his face dismissively, but it was a little too close.

"I'm _ffffine!_ Don't you worry 'bout it!"

"Uhh, okay. . ."

Kuroo claped his hands, trying to get our attention. "Oi, you two! you're interrupting the explanation!"

He sighed, then started talking again. "Anyways, the game is called _'Most Likely',_ which I _totally_ came up with on my own!" he smirked.

Bokuto punched his arm. "Liar, I helped you look it up on Buzzfeed yesterday."

"BOKUTO I TOLD YOU NOT TO SAY!" Kuroo shouted.

"AND I TOLD YOU TO BITE ME!"

Akaashi sighed. "Kuroo-san, just explain the game."

"Alright, alright. Anyways, the way you play is someone will ask a question, for example, _"Who's the most likely to fail a math test?"_ and everyone points to someone, in this case, Bokuto."

Akaashi snorted. "Funny, that already happened."

"Akaashi! You promised you wouldn't say!"

Kuroo cleared his throat. "The person with the most finger points is the loser, and has to take a shot."

"Sounds like fun! I'm in!" Oikawa laughed.

Everyone agreed, except Kozume. Kuroo had to whisper something to him, and his eyes light up.

"O-Okay, I'll play, too." he said, a hint of blush on his cheeks.

"I don't even want to know what he told him. . ." I thought.

Or at least, that's what I _thought_ I thought.

I realized I said that out loud when Iwaizumi, Daichi and Bokuto burst out laughing, and Kozume's face was as red as his team's jersey, maybe even redder.

"Oh shit, I said that out loud, didn't I?" I muttered.

Bokuto, trying to calm himself down, said, "Yeah, you sure did!" in between laughing fits.

Kuroo let out an annoyed growl. "Shaddup!! Anyways, are we playing or not?"

"Yeah, yeah."

Kenma got up and grabbed 8 shot glasses and a couple bottles of alcohol. Everyone sat on the ground in a big circle, with he "equipment" in the centre.

"Let the game begin!" Kuroo smirked.  
  
  


**_________**

**It feels so weird to call Kenma "kozume" ahh**

**But i feel like that's what Suga would call him, so. . .**

**Anyways, like I said earlier, I have like 0 motivation and -1 ideas so I think after the drunk!Suga shit, I may just write out what I wanted the book to end with. (prepare for feels-y stuff and smutty stuff. I wanna end this book with a bang)**

**(I JUST REALIZED WHAT I WROTE AHH I MEAN "BANG" NOT IN THE SEXUAL WAY)**

**((btw, I actually don't know how I'm going to deal with a drunk Suga. Like, how are Daichi and him gonna get home since Daichi isn't allowed to drive? Should I have them take the bus or smth? Idfk. Any ideas?))**

**So ye**

**bye**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It feels so weird to call Kenma "kozume" ahh
> 
> But i feel like that's what Suga would call him, so. . .
> 
> So ye
> 
> bye


	14. xiv | Emotions

 

"Haha, okay, okay. Bokuto, your turn." Kuroo said as he filled up another shot glass with some drink.

"Mm, who's the most likely to have an affair?" Bokuto said, smirking.

"Three, two, one, point!" Kuroo counted, and everybody pointed at Oikawa, but he pointed at me.

Oikawa's (drunk) smile immediately turned into a _"I'm going to act as though I'm insulted although I probably know the reason for all these fingers"_ face.

"Why me~?" he whined.

"Um, if I may," Akaashi said, "but maybe it's because of a) all of your fans who are constantly stalking you, and I mean, some of them _are_ pretty cute--"

Akaashi looked over at Bokuto, probably knowing that Bokuto had a worried / hurt look on his face and said, "but I still only love you," with a smile, and Bokuto's face light up.

"Anyways, it's either that or b) with your looks, it'd be easy to woo someone,them  being a guy or a girl."

Oikawa pouted, crossing his arms. " _Pfft_ , well it's not _my_ fault that I'm this gorgeous and have amazing volleyball skills, okay?" 

"You know," Iwaizumi started, "I heard that some 3rd year started an Oikawa Tooru Fan Club. . . There are actually a whole bunch of members."

I laughed. "Iwaizumi, I'm almost 100% sure you'd join them, too," I said, and everyone snickered.

Iwaizumi's face was bright red. "I-I would _not!_ That's stupid!" he protested, but his bright face only made it funnier.

"Really, Iwa-chan~? I'm sad now. . . I thought you'd join and show off since I'm your boyfriend~" Oikawa said, leaning on Iwaizumi with a smirk on his face.

"Alright then," Kuroo cleared his throat, "I'd rather not see you two do it on my floor, thank you very much. A-Anyways, I noticed that you pointed towards Sugawara," Kuroo said. "Why's that?"

Oikawa had backed off of Iwaizumi and was now sitting cross-legged. Once getting asked the question, he stood up, wobbling slightly in the process, and went behind me.

"This male, _right here._ " Oikawa said, grabbing my shoulders, " _everybody_ sees him as an angel, right? Right? With--with his grey hair, and that polite laugh, and that beauty mark under his eye!"

Daichi, from besides me, said, "What does his beauty mark have to do with the fact that he's an angel. . ?" and I could've sword I heard a hint of annoyance in his voice. I doubt it, thought. That's just what I wanted to hear instead of what was actually said.

Oikawa's finger jabbed into his chest. "It has _everything_  to do with it, Sawamura! You just don't understand, okay? Girls--girls like pretty boys! And his beauty mark is pretty! It's beautiful! And--and he's nice, and girls like nice boys! He could easily be snatched away from underneath you, so be careful, Sawamura!"

I stayed still, confused, as Oikawa let go of my shoulder and walked back to Iwaizumi and sat down, leaning his head on his arm.

"Um, Oikawa _was_ always the first one to get drunk, I guess. . ." Kozume said, and I nodded. I didn't bother saying that I was buzzing slightly, too.

Kuroo placed the shot in front of Oikawa. "Here you go." he said, and Oikawa quickly downed it.

"Alright. Who's next?".

~~**[ i'm lazy okay and i don't feel like writing out every question, okay? fite me ]** ~~

 

* * *

 

About 13 rounds later _( Was it 13? I don't remember anymore. . . ),_ my buzzing sensation had turned into something completely different. Now, I was drunk and completely sure of it. Wanna know how?

It's because I found everything funny. I felt all wobbly. I wanted to cry at random moments, too.

And it was fantastic, especially since I had to drive.

"Suga, are you okay?" Daichi asked me. I waved my hand in dismissal.

"Haha, I'm fine~! Totally fine~! _Totes!_ Hehe. . . who says 'totes' nowadays?" I giggled.

Daichi sighed. "Apparently you."

I gasped. "Oh. My. Gosh! Sawa, you're right! Are you, like, a psychic or something?"

"W-What? No, it's cause you just said it. . ."

"I did? When?"

"Uh, never mind. . . Anyways, are you sure you're okay? You seem pretty drunk." Daichi asked, looking straight into my eyes. If I wasn't so drunk I was about to pass out, I would've admired them a lot more. 

All of a sudden, I felt my eyes water. "Sawamura, you care. . . I'm so touched. . ." I said, wiping my eyes. "I can't believe this. . ."

"Of course I care. I don't want you puking all over the place. . ." he laughed nervously, "or even worse, puking all over someone else's pants, like Hinata did. . ." 

"Shouyou told me about that. . . he's stopped puking when he's nervous, right?" Kozume asked.

"N-No. . . Hinata still does that. . ." Daichi scratched the back of his head. "But I think he's gotten better. . ." The pitch of Daichi's voice raised, as if he was asking a question instead of a statement.

"Anyways, c'mon, let's go another round! Sugawara can sort of hold his liquor for a bit more, right?" Kuroo asked. He had drank a lot, too without even having to. He just started pouring alcohol in his own glass. Surprisingly, he didn't seem the slightest bit drunk.

"Uh. . ." Daichi looked over at me. 

I shook my head violently, which was an extremely bad idea. "Sawa, I'm fine! I can _totally_ go another time. . . or, uh, round?" I asked, my thoughts scattered. "Was it another round?" I asked. then burst out laughing. "Japanese is such a funny language. . ."

"Well, I think that answers your question, Kuroo. We should get going." Daichi said as he stood up.

"Aw~. You're no fun, Sawa-chan. . ." I said, the suffix slipping past my lips. If I wasn't too busy pouting and looking at the ground, I would've seen everyone's confused look.

". . .  _'Sawa-chan'?_ Really? When did he start calling you that, Sawamura-san?" Akaashi asked. I'm sure everyone else was thinking it too.

"H-He's never called me that. . ." Daichi responded. I got up, almost falling over in the process.

"Well, what'f I wanna? Sawa-chan's a cute name, 'nd it suits a cute boy!" I said.

I'm pretty sure that Daichi's face reddened, but then again, I was seeing so many things at once that I don't remember what's true and what's false.

"Uh, okay then. . ." Daichi cleared his throat, "Well, this was fun, but we'll be going now."

"Hold on, let me walk you out." Kuroo said, standing up. Daichi grabbed my lower arm, probably to help me balance.

"C'mon, Suga, let's go home." Daichi said, and I followed him.

"Bye bye, everyone~!" I said just as I left the rest of their views. I heard a couple of _bye's_  in return, and I gigged.

Daichi and I walked down the steps. "I'll remind Suga to come back later to grab his car. Obviously, he can't drive in this state and I can't, either."

Kuroo nodded. "Alright. Be careful, you two."

"Thanks."

Kuroo's voice suddenly changed. It wasn't very obvious, but even in my drunken state, I could tell something was different. "Oh, and Sawamura, be careful with him. He really. . . uh," Kuroo trailed off, looking away, "he tends to over-think things, okay?"

"Okay. I will." he said. I didn't process what was being said, because I was too busy staring at Kuroo's hair. 

_Hm. . . was that natural or does he put gel. . ?_

"Well then," he puffed, "have a good night, you two~!" he smiled.

Daichi and I walked -- well, he walked, I wobbled -- to the bus stop. His left arm was wrapped around the small of my back, keeping me steady. Just as we got to the bus stop, the bus came. Daichi pulled out some change from his pockets.

_I wonder what else he has in there. Is it like that thing. . . um. . . the T.A.R.D.I.S.; bigger on the inside than the outside? That'd be funny._

I giggled to myself as Daichi and I took a seat towards the middle of the bus. There weren't many people around, except an old lady sitting at the front and some teenage boy with his headphones on, looking out the window.

Daichi chuckled. "What are you laughing at?"

"I'was jus' thinkin' if your pants were the same as the T.A.R.D.I.S.~!" I giggled again.

"T.A.R.D.I.S.?"

I nodded my head, and that made me dizzy so I placed a hand on my forehead. "Y-yeah, the T.A.R.D.I.S. 's when the outside looks bigger than the inside! Oh no, wait, is it the inside looks bigger than the outside. . ? Yeah, I think it's that one."

Daichi laughed again. "Well, that's interesting. Tell me when you find the answer then."

On the rest of the way to the apartment, I spent it talking about random thoughts that popped into my head because of my drunkness.

"Okay, Suga, out stop is next. Let's go," Daichi said, pressing the ' _stop request'_ button and grabbing the bar above his head. He stood up, and I followed him. The bus driver pressed on the brakes relatively quickly, and I lost my already little balance. I fell onto my butt.

"Oh my god, Suga, you okay?" Daichi asked, probably hearing the  _'thump'_ I made when I fell.

I groaned. "Owwie. . ." 

Daichi sighed, a small smile on his face. He offered me his left hand while his right one still gripped the bar, "You've got to be more careful, Suga. You're going to get really hurt one day."

I took his hand, still a little unsteady. "But you're gonna be there to make sure I don't," I said, not realizing the effect on Daichi that had.

"U-Uh. . . I-I," he stuttered. "L-Let's just get off the bus before it starts to leave again."

Daichi quickly turned around and walked away, leaving me to hurry behind him, not to mention unstable and almost bumping into everything.

"Can you go up the stairs?" Daichi asked me.

"Pfft, who do you think I am? _Of courshe I can!"_ I said, but as I got to the first step, I nearly tripped and fell.

" _Okay,_ I guess I'm helping you, then." Daichi shook his head.

Daichi put his arm around me again, and we both walked up the stairs, all the way to our apartment door. Daichi reached into his pocket and grabbed his keys, which I hadn't even noticed were there.

"T.A.R.D.I.S. . ." I whispered, giggling lightly. Daichi laughed, too. 

After unlocking the door, we both walked into the apartment and Daichi brought me over to the couch.

"I'll go get you some water. That should help your hangover tomorrow."

He got up and walked back towards the kitchen. I leaned on the back of the couch, watching him.

 _He's cute. . ._ I thought to myself. Daichi had opened the dishwasher, and I had a nice view of his butt. _Wow. . ._

"Suga, you don't like ice in your water, right?" Daichi asked, pouring filtered water into a glass.

"Aw, you remembered~!" I smiled. "I feel so loved."

Daichi chuckled, "Yeah, I remembered. . ." he said, walking towards me. He stopped midway, eyebrows furrowed together. ". . . _How do I remember that?"_

"You know, you'd make a r'lly good boyfriend if you remember lil' things like that~."

Daichi's face blushed a deep shade of red.  _"What?"_

"People really appreciate when you remember little things, y'know. I'm one of those persons! Uhm, persons. . . people. . . oops, I mean people~"

"R-Right. . . here's your water." Daichi said, handing me the glass. He sat down next to me and I drank from it. 

After I set the glass back onto the table, I look back at Daichi, a smile on my face. He was laying, his back against the back of the couch. He looked pretty relaxed, his army green shirt gently resting on his broad chest. I watched it rise and fall in a steady pace, and my eyes travelled down his body to his crotch. I examined the slight hint of bulge from his pants.

 _I wonder how big he is. . ._ I thought. _Maybe I should find out._

I slowly got closer to Daichi, a small smile on my face.

"Suga? What are you--"

"Hey, hey Sawa-chan, how big are you?" I asked, cutting him off. I was now sitting on the couch with my knees tucked underneath me.

"W-What? Um, last time I checked, I think I was 5"9." Daichi stuttered, a sightly red face.

I shook my head, giggling. I moved even closer to him, my left hand now on his chest. "Mm, that's not what I meant~. You know. . ," my hand started running down his chest and stopped right above where his pants started, " _right here._ "

Daichi's face was completely red now. "S-Suga, what are you--why are you--I-I can't. . ." he stuttered, and I smiled.

"Sawa-chan, you sound almost as drunk as me!" I giggled, then stopped. "No, wait, I'm supposed to say I'm not drunk. . . Aw, shoot! I messed up!"

Daichi took my time of distraction to reposition himself. "S-Suga, you're drunk. You don't know what you're--"

I felt my cheeks puff out as I said, "No~! I do! I'm, uh, I'm measuring your penis!"

Daichi looked away, a pained and flustered expression written all along his face. "Suga, get off. . . I don't know if I'll be able to--"

"Hey, Sawa-chan~" I said again, my fingers slipping through the space between the spaces between the buttons and undoing them, "you're very handsome."

Daichi still didn't speak. He just looked away.

I puffed out my cheeks again. "Come on~! Give me some kind of reaction~."

After I made sure all of his buttons were undone, I looked at his bare chest, and got an idea. I pressed my lips to the warm skin, placing gentle kisses all the way down his stomach. I could hear Daichi's breath hitch, and I smiled.

"That's what I wanted to hear~. Let me hear more~" I said, and crawled over him, my legs on each side of his. 

I started kissing his collarbone, this time with more force. I switched between kisses, sucking and nibbling. Daichi let out a moan-sigh mixed noise, and I could feel tingles in my lower body. Unintentionally, I did this for so long that marks would be guaranteed to appear, and not in an area that would be easily hidable.

I gradually moved my lips to the area underneath his jawline and started sucking there. Daichi let out yet another moan, his breaths getting quicker. I started rubbing against him, feeling myself getting half-hard.

Daichi moved his hand over his mouth. "S-Suga. . ." he moaned out, muffled. "P-please. . . stop. . ." he said, but I didn't listen to him.

"Nope~. I still haven't measured you~!" I smiled.

"Suga, I'm serious. . ." Daichi said, and although his breath was still unsteady, I could tell he was telling the truth.

Then, he said something that really hurt.

"This is weird. I-it's _unnatural_."

I immediately stopped what I was doing, looking straight into Daichi's eyes. I couldn't tell what he was thinking or feeling. 

"What do you mean?" I asked. Even in my drunken state, his words hit me; _hard._

"We're. . . _guys._ And. . . I-I'm not. . . gay. I just--I'm not into that stuff."

I got off of Daichi, looking at the ground. "Oh. . ." Is all I was able to say.

"Yeah, I-I'm sorr--"

"No." I said loudly. My hands gripped at my clothes. "It's my fault. I should be apologizing."

I realized that my vision had became blurred, and I wiped at my eyes before the tears even rolled down my cheeks.

"Su--"

"I'm going out. Don't follow me." I said, walking towards the entrance. I grabbed my wallet keys, and left the apartment. I could hear Daichi calling after me, but I ignored him.

As soon as I got outside and felt the fresh air on my face, I started jogging. From a jog, it became a sprint. I ran and ran. My lungs begged for air and my muscles ached. My tears dried on my face,  mid fall.

I finally stopped running when I got to an empty park. I slowly walked over to a bench and sat down.

And then I broke.

 _I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. He doesn't like me anymore,_ I told myself, grabbing a fistful of my own hair and tugging at it. 

_I'm such an idiot. Why did I do that? **Why?**_

_I lost my soulmate. He's going to date **someone else.** He's going to love **someone else.** He's going to spend his time with **someone else.**_

 

* * *

 

I don't know how long I stayed in that position, wiping my cheeks every few seconds. It must've been anywhere from 40 minutes to an hour. The sun had already started to set, and less and less cars were heard in the distance. I didn't really feel like going home, so I pulled out my phone from my pocket and looked through my contact list for a specific person.

_Riiiiiiiiing_

_Riiiiiiiiing_

_Riiii--_

_"Hello?"_ Asahi's voice was heard on the other side.

"Uh, hey Asahi. . ." I said, trying to control my voice. I didn't really want Asahi to know that I was crying.

 _"Suga? Are you okay? You sound. . . different,"_ Asahi asked, and I couldn't hold it in anymore.

"A-Asahi. . . I just. . ." I stuttered, my voice cracking. Tears started forming in my eyes, and I buried my face in my free hand. "Daichi. . . I-I did something. . . a-and he told me. . . and I can't go home. . ." I half-whispered, the words barely coherent.

 _"Shh, Suga, take it easy. Where are you right now?"_ Asahi asked, concerned.

"T-The park we used to go to. . ." I mumbled. Asahi, Daichi and I used to come here all the time after volleyball practice. It was almost like a comforting place for us.

 _"Okay. I'll be there in 5 minutes. Wait there."_  He said, and I could hear him grabbing his keys in the background.

"O-Okay. . . Thank you, Asahi. . ."

_"No problem, Suga. I'll be there soon."_

"Okay. Bye."

_"Bye."_

 


	15. xv | Support

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so like I have this headcannon where Asahi gives the best hugs. Like they're a good balance between gentle and strong, and idk he's tall so it would feel really secure??
> 
> So I'm using that headcannon in my fanfic. Hope you don't mind <3

 

After a few more minutes of waiting alone, red, puffy eyes watching the sun slowly descend in the distance, I heard a car engine coming closer to where I was sitting.

I turned around and recognized Asahi's car parking. I felt a little relieved. Asahi got out of the car and walked briskly towards me.

"A-Asahi--" I started. I was going to apologize for making him come all the way here for me, but he cut me off, however, not verbally.

Asahi wrapped his arms around me. He had one of his hands on my back and the other near the back of my head. Something about Asahi's hugs made me feel secure. I couldn't hold it back anymore. I slowly felt tears form once again, and I bit my lip in an attempt to keep myself from letting out loud sobs. Asahi's grip on me tightened.

"Asahi, he. . . I'm such an idiot. . ." I said between sniffles. 

"Suga. Tell me what happened," Asahi asked me in a soft voice. To others, Asahi always seemed intimidating and scary, but truthfully, he wasn't like that at all. Asahi was always caring and supportive to others. He has always willingly opened his ears and listened to what I've had to say.

"I. . . I don't know what I was thinking. . . I-I tried to feel up Daichi, and he said he wasn't into guys. . ." I stuttered. "I guess I kind of expected it i-in the back of my head, but I never wanted. . ."

My voice trailed off as I felt my fears grab at my throat. I made a sort of choking sound, trying to hold in everything I felt.

"Suga," Asahi said softly, "you don't have to hold it in."

I shook my head. I knew if I started crying and breaking down, I would never be able to stop. "But. . ."

"It's not good to keep it in, okay? You have to let it out," He said.

The first things I felt were my hands. They began to shake and I gripped at my shirt, but that didn't help anything, because the rest of my body bean to shake, too. I felt the pressure build up inside my chest, and I started crying.

"I'm such an idiot. . . I'm an idiot. . . I'm an idiot. . . I'm an idiot!" I repeated over and over between my sobs. Asahi moved his hands along my back, creating little circles.

"Suga, you're not an idiot." Asahi said, still gently comforting me.

"Yes I am!" I shouted, mostly at myself.

"No, you're just drunk." Asahi said.

"No I'm not," I responded defensively. How was he able to tell?

Asahi didn't say anything, but I could sense that he didn't believe me.

". . . Fine, maybe a little bit."

Another moment of silence.

"Okay, very."

"Yeah," Asahi said, and **[1]** chuckled.

After a few more minutes, I finally calmed down. Asahi let go of me and I rubbed my reddening eyes with my hand.

"I know it may be too awkward for you to go back and face Daichi, so you can stay at my place until you're ready, okay?" Asahi offered with a soft smile on his face.

"Thanks, Asahi."

"No problem," he said, then suddenly his expression changed drastically.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"Shit shit shit. . . I just remembered I was baking something! I don't think I turned off the oven!" he said, running his hands over his head in worry. "Oh god, please don't tell me I burned down the entire apartment building. Suga, we've got to go."

I nodded my head and stood up, but the sudden movement combined with my growing headache made me dizzy, and I almost tripped while speed-walking to the car.

Asahi raced back to the apartment and quickly ran up the steps, although he lived on the third floor. I, however, treaded behind him, clinging to the railing as if I was going to fall, which I honestly thought would happen.

As I finally reached the third floor, Asahi came out of his apartment and met me at the top.

"Turns out that I actually turned off the oven. . ." he said with a chuckle.

As he said that, I put my hand on the wall for balance. "Yeah. . ." I said. For some reason, I didn't feel right. I put my free hand on my stomach and my eyebrows furrowed together.

"Suga? Are you okay?" Asahi asked, putting a hand on the small of my back.

It suddenly hit me. I put a hand over my mouth even though nothing happened yet.

"T-Toilet. . ." I said, my voice muffled. Asahi's eyes widened and he grabbed my wrist, dragging me into his apartment and into the bathroom. We made it just in time because as I leaned over the toilet bowl, a nasty sound came from my mouth.

Asahi rubbed my back, and I could only imagine the expression on his face.

"I'll, uh, go get you some water," Asahi said, and I nodded before feeling nauseous again and hurled.

 

* * *

 

"Ugh. . ." I groaned after a good twenty minutes or so of puking. There was an awful aftertaste in my mouth, my throat hurt, my face was pale, and red dots were starting to appear around my eyes.

"Wow, you look. . ." Asahi's voice trailed off, and I finished his sentence for him.

"Awful? Terrible? Shitty? Because I feel like it." I said. "I'm sorry for all the trouble. . ." I muttered, raising my head but immediately regretted it.

"It's fine. I wasn't going to let you puke in the middle of the hallway," Asahi smiled. "Oh, you must have a really bad aftertaste in your mouth. I'll go get the mouthwash and a clean glass," Asahi said and left the washroom again. He came back 20 seconds later and offered both.

"Thanks." I said, and hoisted myself up, nearly falling. Asahi caught my arm and let out a scoff.

"Be careful, jeez. I have to go check something real quick. I'll be right back, so don't pass out or anything," he said, putting my arm on the sink, making sure I was stable.

I nodded. "Okay."

Asahi left and I poured some of the mouthwash into the glass, then swished it around my mouth as I looked at my horrible state in the mirror. A sole thought went through my head, and it made my chest ache.

_Daichi. . . hates me._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ 1 ] okay so i literally spent about 10 minutes looking for the word to describe when you kinda just blow air out of your nose ?? like, for example your friend tell you a corny-ass pun and you kinda just half-smile and blow air out of you nose. it kinda shows you're slightly amused or smth idfk


	16. xvi | Bliss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'know what's funny?
> 
> this ending is almost the c o m p l e t e opposite ending that i had in mind when i first started this fanfic a year ago.
> 
> pfft
> 
> also WARNING (for the millionth time) this is in Dadchi's POV
> 
> woop

**Daichi's POV**

Suga just slammed the door on me as I stood in the middle of our living room, devastated.

 _What. . . just happened?_ I asked myself, looking down at my body. It felt weird. . . _I_ felt strange.

Just then, a sudden rush of pain was shot through my head.

"Aagh!" I groaned, holding my head in my hands and collapsing to the ground.

My heart raced. The strange feeling I felt before was even stronger now. Almost as something was familiar. I couldn't put my finger on it, though. Not at that moment, at least.

A thought washed over me, and nothing else was in my mind, almost like a trance-like state.

"I _have_ to go find Suga. . ." I whispered to myself.

Instantaneously, I went to go and grab my keys, fix my shirt, and just as I was about to slip on my shoes, the voice of reason I had become to familiar with for the 20 years I've been alive came back.

"W-Wait. . . I can't go after him. He said he doesn't want me to follow him. . ." I whispered. I walked and tossed the keys into the bowl on the table without looking.

"or did he say that as some kind of reverse-psychology stuff to get me to follow him. . ?"

". . .uh. . ."

". . ."

"I'll take the first option."  
  
  


I walked into my room and laid down on my bed, looking up at the dull, light grey ceiling. It made me think of Suga--not the dull part, but the grey; it was the same shade as his hair. The only difference was that Suga's hair was a lot better. It was soft, and the way that one strand curled at the top of his head was adorable, and--

I stopped.

My heart raced.

_What?_

_No. . . I'm straight!_

My stomach churned just thinking about Suga and how he must hate me.

_This is_ **_not_ ** _how friends think of each other. What the hell am I doing?!_

With a grunt, I turned into my side, facing the window.

_Could it be that I. . ?_

_No, that's not possible._

_. . . right?_   
  


After a half-hour of contemplation, I gave up because my heat started hurting. Instead, I got out of bed and went to grab my phone, which was placed on the kitchen counter. I then sat down on the couch where the "interesting" experience took place and started browsing Twitter. A few tweets caught my eye. I realized they were made an hour ago.

 **[ @ ktetsuroooo ]**  
 **lmao @ hoothootb is dancing in the street** **drunk**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeeeeeey
> 
> i hope you enjoyed that huns <3
> 
> anyways, keep your eyes peeled for more content coming your way!
> 
> (specifically a Haikyuu!! Mall AU ;) )


End file.
